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Quotes tagged ‘Stand-Up Comedy’

(6 total)

Of course you want to touch women. They're impossible to resist, I relate to your frustration because sometimes I will see a service dog at the airport, cause I'm gonna pet that...dog.

— Whitney Cummings, Herself, Whitney Cummings, imdb.com

I don't miss traveling and sleeping in a hotel every night. I mean that touring got really old. I did it for 15 years and I had no idea I was going to be a talk-show host, but I used to joke with the audience at the end of my set that someday I am going to make you come to me, and I'm not going to c…

— Ellen Degeneres, aalbc.com

There is really no difference between Ellen, the stand-up, or Ellen, the talk show host, or even Ellen at home. The humor that I'm still writing that you see every day on the show is the same as when I did stand-up, as when I toured. It's just kind of commentating on absurdities and human behavior.…

— Ellen Degeneres, aalbc.com

I’m funnier than every motherfucking man there is. And that’s how I felt when I was onstage.

— Roseanne Barr, vanityfair.com

To me, it’s a victory over my whole life that I can do stand-up. The way that I got abused as a child was psychological, and when I’m onstage I’ve taken my life and I’ve turned it around. I’ve gone, You’ve made me this way and now you can’t get me. I even like hecklers because it’s like, Just try to…

— Roseanne Barr, vanityfair.com

To be thrown onto the stand-up stage is an experience that you cannot fathom until you're actually there, because there's no place to go, and everyone is looking at you and you can't even see them because of the lights. And yet you have to manage to start talking and be funny on top of it.

— Garry Shandling, npr.org

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