Quote
Catalog

Quotes tagged ‘Surreal’

(19 total)

Shadow: Did you always believe? Jesus: Did I always believe? I am belief, Shadow. I don't know how not to believe. Shadow: I don't think I know how to. I think I maybe don't...don't really believe. You know, I don't really believe any of this. And maybe everything that's happened so far is just some…

— Maria Melnik, Shadow Moon, Ricky Whittle, imdb.com

I once knew a horse that didn't even know how to fix a sore finger. Played a great guitar, but was nothin' with first aid.

— Arthur Stander, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Andy Griffith, imdb.com

It's a good thing a lot of people speak foreign languages, otherwise those people would have no one to talk to.

— Steven Wright, imdb.com

I need one of those baby monitors for my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.

— Steven Wright, imdb.com

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.

— Steven Wright, imdb.com

A lot of people are afraid of heights; not me, I'm afraid of widths.

— Steven Wright, imdb.com

Sometimes you can't hear me, it's because sometimes I'm in parentheses.

— Steven Wright, imdb.com

I went to a museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

— Steven Wright, imdb.com

I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered on the beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it.

— Steven Wright, en.wikiquote.org

I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint...it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.

— Steven Wright, en.wikiquote.org

You never know what you have until it’s gone, and I wanted to know what I had, so I got rid of everything.

— Steven Wright, theguardian.com

A sandwich walks into a bar. Barman says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.’

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, ‘I can’t do this. I need water.’ The man says, ‘I didn’t know dogs could talk.’ The horse says, ‘Me, neither!’

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

Two soldiers are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, ‘BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUB.’

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

Well, you don't get the feeling that he has thought of anything other than himself at any given time. Certainly he was very open with me, accessible with me, and then he started to talk. Did he ever listen to me for one second? I never got that feeling. He just talks at you. ‘Blah blah blah blah bla…

— Michael Wolff, hollywoodreporter.com

I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating me!

— Darin Henry, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

And never have I felt so deeply at one and, at the same time, so detached from myself, and so present in the world.

— Albert Camus, amazon.com

It was too good to last.

— Ernest Hemingway, amazon.com

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