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Sheriff Andy Taylor

18 quotes

All Nut (2)No-Account (1)Oxymorons (1)Goodby (1)Disgust (1)Moving On (1)ignorant (1)filing a false police report (1)clear as the nose on a warthog's face (1)Sweet Sorrow (1)strange (1)promises (1)distaste (1)throwing rocks (1)Murder (1)

From “The Manhunt”

Deputy Barney Fife: You'll never guess what's happened. Something big. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, what is it? Deputy Barney Fife: Biggest thing ever happened in Mayberry. REAL big. Big. BIG big. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now, now just simmer down, Barney. What is it? Deputy Barney Fife: Well, I'm…

big Hinting Beating around the bush

From “Ellie Comes to Town”

Emma Brand: Aye, Sheriff, I come to report a murder. Sheriff Andy Taylor: A murder? Emma Brand: That's right. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Somebody's been murdered? Emma Brand: Yes. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Who? Emma Brand: Me! Sheriff Andy Taylor: You? Emma Brand: Yes, and I'll tell you who done it! That lady…

Murder filing a false police report

From “Irresistible Andy”

Oh, Aunt Bee, what they got in mind for me is as clear as the nose on a warthog's face.

clear as the nose on a warthog's face

From “Runaway Kid”

I once knew a horse that didn't even know how to fix a sore finger. Played a great guitar, but was nothin' with first aid.

Horse Surreal Guitar

I don't know why I am always gettin' my britches caught on my own pitchfork.

Self-Sabotage

From “Opie's Charity”

Well, what would ANY husband say to his widow? Thank her for the nice funeral she gave you, for the kind words on your headstone. Why, you got a lot to talk about. Look alive, now.

husband Widow headstone Morbid

You better hush. I'll arrest you for bein' a disorderly corpse.

Hush Disorderly Corpse

From “A Feud is a Feud”

Mr. Carter: Course I know the reason I'm shootin' at him. Andy Taylor: Well, how come? Mr. Carter: Cause he's a Wakefield. Andy Taylor: What does that mean to you? Mr. Carter: It means I gotta shoot at him. Andy Taylor: Well why do you have to shoot at him? Mr. Carter: Cause he's a Wakefield.

family feuds

Andy Taylor: Goodbye, goodbye. Partin' is such sweet sorrow that I would say goodbye till it be morrow. Opie Taylor: What's THAT mean? Andy Taylor: Well, that means I'd love to set and jaw with ya a while longer, but I got to be a-movin' on.

Oxymorons Goodby Sweet Sorrow Moving On

From “Opie and the Bully”

I don't want him to be the kind of boy lookin' for fights, but I don't want him to run from one when he's in the right.

bullies Self-Defense

From “Andy and the Woman Speeder”

Well, that's a fine day's work. You've outsmarted justice and you've made a mockery of this court, and you've turned three people against me that I would have sworn would never leave my side. Oh, I can understand a shiny, autographed baseball turning a little boy's head, but I am a little…

Ruined Friendships

From “Andy and Opie, Bachelors”

Andy Taylor: What do you know about love? Floyd Lawson: What do I know... about love... about love...A man can't cut hair for thirty years without learning SOMETHING!

Love Barber

From “The Mayberry Band”

Mayor Roy Stoner: Well, I'll admit they sound better'n they did last year... Andy Taylor: There ya are, boys! Mayor Roy Stoner: ...but they are still the most disgusting band I have ever heard in all my life.

distaste Disgust Backhanded Compliments

From “Ernest T. Bass Joins the Army”

Sheriff Andy Taylor: There goes a happy man. Deputy Barney Fife: There goes a happy nut.

Happy Man Nut

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Look at him go. He's a strange one. Recruiting Sergeant: He's a wild one. Deputy Barney Fife: He's a nut.

strange Wild Nut

From “The Education of Ernest T. Bass”

Ernest T. Bass: I'm no account, Andy. I'm no-count. Sheriff Andy Taylor: You're not no-count, Earnest. You're just... ignorant, that's all. Ernest T. Bass: Aw, you're being kind.

No-Account ignorant

From “Barney's Bloodhound”

Barney, you want my honest opinion? I don't believe that dog can find his own food dish.

honest opinion dumb dog

From “Malcolm at the Crossroads”

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Now I'm warning you, if you throw one more rock... Ernest T. Bass: I promise you Sheriff, I won't throw one more rock. [Sheriff Taylor walks away] Ernest T. Bass: Didn't say nothin' 'bout no brick!

throwing rocks promises Literal

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