“I once knew a horse that didn't even know how to fix a sore finger. Played a great guitar, but was nothin' with first aid.”Tagged: Horse, Surreal, Guitar
“Opie Taylor: Go on, pa. You gotta fall down and die. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, I'll tell you the truth, son. I just got other things to do. I'm just too blame busy to die right now. Opie Taylor: Aw, shucks. Sheriff Andy Taylor: I'll die a little later on if I get the chance, though.”Tagged: Deferred Gratification
“Sheriff Andy Taylor: Now, you can't be serious about resignin'. What in the world will you do? Deputy Barney Fife: Oh, I-I don't know. I could go up to the pickle factory. They always need a brine tester.”Tagged: Resigning, Pickle Factory
“Well, what would ANY husband say to his widow? Thank her for the nice funeral she gave you, for the kind words on your headstone. Why, you got a lot to talk about. Look alive, now.”Tagged: husband, Widow, headstone, Morbid