The Unedited Truth Of Why People Cheat And How Sometimes You Can't Blame Them For It

“Having an affair seems like such a big decision. Of course, it’s really a series of small choices.”

— Anna Sale, wnyc.org

“I cheated because I was desperate for someone to love me with the same ferocious first-love intensity that I’d given my husband.”

— Lindsay T., huffingtonpost.com

“It became more painful to not do it and to just test the waters and say, maybe this is the only guy that I’ll ever be in love with and for me to deny myself that -- that would be terrible.”

— Ali, wnyc.org

“Thousands of years ago, man spread his seed freely, without the spectre of ‘cheating’ hovering over him. Its what nature intended.”

— Chris Haven, thoughtcatalog.com

“My husband and I had been together for so long and I came to realize that he in a lot of ways had stopped paying attention. I think to a certain extent we were both sort of invisible to each other.”

— Sheri, wnyc.org

“Choosing a married man can be safer than having a real relationship. Married men can bring to the table attention, passion, time, experience, and create a bubble of erotic and emotional pleasure without the daily grind of household management, child raising and checkbook balancing.”

— Tiffany Anton, thoughtcatalog.com

“People who have affairs just want to find some real happiness and love in their lives.”

— Mira Kirshenbaum, amazon.com

“I’m waiting to find another girl to form a relationship with before I dump her, so that I can make the process of dumping her less painful for myself.”

— Zitandspit99, thoughtcatalog.com

“After telling my husband I was lonely and unhappy for years, he continued to travel for months at a time until I finally found someone else. Having that fling forced me to admit I wanted a divorce and to tell him in no uncertain terms that I was done.”

— Andrea H., huffingtonpost.com

“Having an affair only results when one or both partners don’t realize that the intense ‘butterflies in your stomach’ feeling that they feel initially won’t last forever.”

— John Alex Clark, thoughtcatalog.com

“Delusion detests focus and romance provides the veil.”

— Suzanne Finnamore, amazon.com

“So when a secret affair is revealed, it’s devastating, destructive, and something we all would like to avoid -- but it’s also a moment that can make us finally, fully honest about what’s been missing, and what’s worth saving.”

— Anna Sale, wnyc.org

“Would I cheat to save my soul? No. But to save my G.P.A.? Yes.”

— Julie Anne Peters, amazon.com

“When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana, amazon.com

“Men are more likely than women to commit infidelity, largely because men have more testosterone, which is responsible for the strong desire to have sex.”

— Kelly Campbell, psychologytoday.com

“She knew, even though she was too young to know the reason, that indiscriminate desire and unselective indulgence were possible only to those who regarded sex and themselves as evil.”

— Ayn Rand, amazon.com

“I cheated on my girlfriend because I could. I never had a lot of sexual options through high school and college, but after school, I really hit my stride. For the first time, women were hitting on me, and I was drunk on the feeling.”

— D.H, glamour.com

“What we wanted out of our sex life was very different. We had some issues in our relationship that had been slowly pushing us apart.”

— Adam, glamour.com

“Spouses cheat because of problems in their relationship. Something is missing, passion has faded, partners feel lonely, a partner finds someone who treats them better or who appreciates them more than their current spouse, and so on.”

— Truth About Deception, truthaboutdeception.com

“The nature of a person’s employment is also related to infidelity—individuals whose work involves touching other people, having personal discussions, or a great deal of one-on-one time are more likely to have an affair.”

— Kelly Campbell, psychologytoday.com

“At the heart of an affair, you will often find a longing and a yearning for an emotional connection, for novelty, for freedom, for autonomy, for sexual intensity, a wish to recapture lost parts of ourselves or an attempt to bring back vitality in the face of loss and tragedy.”

— Esther Perel, ted.com

“SELF-GRATIFICATION > INTIMACY = CHEATING”

— Mark Manson, markmanson.net

“Happiness plays more of a role with women, who are in fact a lot likelier to cheat if they feel lonely in their marriage or partnership.”

— Ellie Zolfagharifard, dailymail.co.uk

“Adultery has existed since human beings began entering into relationships”

— Dawn Serra, dawnserra.com

“...it isn't always our partner that we are turning away from, but the person that we have ourselves become. And it isn't so much that we're looking for another person, as much as we are looking for another self.”

— Esther Perel, ted.com

“While no one knows precisely what went through this mind or motivated him, there was at least one thing that could have hinted at what drove Armstrong to cheat: He was a winner.”

— Roberto A. Ferdman, washingtonpost.com

“I cheated on my husband because he cheated on me. That’s the sad and simple truth.”

— Lindsay T., huffingtonpost.com

“If a person values self-gratification more than the intimacy they gain from a relationship, then they will stop sacrificing for the relationship and are likely to end up cheating.”

— Mark Manson, markmanson.net

“I wanted children, he did not. I wanted someone who would sleep with me, he seemed disinterested. I wanted to take on opportunities and be challenged, he wanted to be comfortable.”

— Rose M., huffingtonpost.com

“Sex had become like showing up for an army physical.”

— Susan M., huffingtonpost.com