“Jay: I'm sorry. That's one of the few times I said sorry and actually meant it. Alex: That's one of the few times you said sorry and I actually believed you.”Tagged: Apologies, backhanded apologies
“Craig: Do you know how humiliating it was to find out, in public, that my girlfriend dumped me by email? Ellie: Oh. Oh, you’re forgetting on your birthday. It’s a pretty good detail, too.”Tagged: humiliating, Dumped, Email
“J.T.: I lost my girl. I lost my best friend, I lost my job, and my...my family. And, now I'm probably going to jail. Jay: Bummer times, at least there's a party.”Tagged: Loss, Jail, party, bummer
“If Jesus didn't want us to have sex he'd make every girl look like Quasimodo's sister.”Tagged: jesus, Sex, quasimodo
“Jay: I got us tickets to the party of the year. Want to be my plus-one? Alex: Too bad going with you is a minus-twenty.”Tagged: party, Sick Burns
“Manny: Male strippers dropping it like it’s hot? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Emma: Okay, I think removing you from public is a good idea for us all.”Tagged: male strippers, drop it like it's hot