“They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.”Tagged: Friend, Fuck, worship
“Is this a weak turnout or what? I had at least 70 more people at my funeral.”Tagged: Turnout, Weak, funeral
“You were nothing before you met me. You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn. You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout Cookie.”Tagged: Barbie, Bluebird, Brownies, Girl Scout Cookies
“My afterlife is so boring. If I have to sing ‘Kumbaya’ one more time...”Tagged: Afterlife, Boring, Kumbaya
“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?”Tagged: Fuck, gently, Chainsaw, Mother Teresa