Jessica Day

23 quotes

Female

“Pink wine makes me slutty.”

“We are literally the most embarrassing people on the planet.”

“Just eating cookies and avoiding confrontation!”

“You don't like my style, that's fine; but I'm not going to change who I am. So you're going to have to deal with, and respect it.”

“I'm always the one who loves more, that's my thing.”

“Actually, I don't trust what 'cool' means to all of you, so how about just 'be normal.'”

“Sorry. I've never heard you talk about your ex wife, and I got really nervous, and I tried to flirt information out of you.”

“If any of you cross me, I'm gonna kick the testicles clean off your bodies! Clean off! You'll look like Ken dolls down there!”

“You're dating a stripper, I'm dating a tall handsome doctor. We're kinda living the dream.”

“You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friendship!”

“Life's messy. It kicks you in the ass. That's right, I said ass.”

“Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?”

“Have you seen a girl who looks like me, but with chaos in her eyes?”

“I know I'm gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.”

“I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.”

“I hope you like feminist rants because that's kinda my thing.”

“I’m gonna end up alone. I’m gonna be a single old lady, flashing people on the subway.”

“My boobs are loving this unemployed thing. They don’t have to go to boob jail every day.”

“Well, I guess I can’t hide my crazy.”

“I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone.”