“I knew, that if my parents could see me now, they'd be jealous of how lumpin' awesome I am.”Tagged: Awesome, Parents, Self-Esteem
“Just watch over me until I can find a way out of this labyrinth in my brain and regain my sanity!! And then maybe Betty, my princess... maybe you will love me again. [sobs] Please love me again, Betty!!”Tagged: Sanity, labyrinth, True Love
“Ohh, pretty baby wife. You're the most normal thing in my whole life. We're like two normal jelly beans sitting at the bottom of the jar, floating in a sea of olives, waiting for somebody to guess how many jelly beans are in the jar, which I mentioned.”Tagged: Domestic Bliss, Wife, Jelly Beans, Olives
“Dude, you can't stay here if you're gonna stank it up with your bad vibes, man!”Tagged: Stank, Bad Vibes, Dude
“My son and I were having Sunday dinner. We were lightly rapping back and forth. It turned into a rap battle. He threw out rhyme after rhyme. I couldn't keep up.”Tagged: Rap Battle, Rhyme