It is hard to keep trying to fix something convinced it is not broken. It is hard to love a heart that is not always open.
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Trista Mateer
Trista Mateer is a writer and poet. She won the Goodreads Choice Award in 2015 for poetry with The Dogs I Have Kisse
I’m so sick of reducing lovers to lessons. How to let go. How to stay. How to ask for what the heart wants.
I’m twenty-three and I still don’t own my own dishes. Last month, I lived entirely off of paper plates. Say you’ll come home with me anyway.
My heart looks like a bruise and I almost don't mind.
My love is a pair of scissors I keep begging you not to run with.
I want to kiss you and feel like I am growing.
I know I deserve a love that won’t make me wait but I was so good at waiting for you.
i like to tell myself that i wasn’t really in love with you but even on the months i forget to pay my credit card bills, i still remember to check your horoscope.
It’s just my hard edges and your hard edges but I swear if we touch enough we’ll be as smooth as skipping stones.
I don’t know how to exist properly in the same space as someone I don’t love anymore.
It is so easy to make monsters out of the people I have loved.
I was carving my name into your side and you were calling me soft, calling me gentle. I do not think you were paying attention.
Today I accidentally told someone that I love you.
Sometimes I want to apologize for wanting you out loud, like too many people know the reasons I am going to have laugh lines.
She subscribes to the bible of mouth to mouth (and gin, and sweat). She makes me want to ransack my own temple.
Sometimes I think I resented you so much it felt like love.
I will greet you with a mouth full of barbed wire until you learn to stop coming after me with your hands.