“No, it wasn’t a death wish. But, look, I was in a lot of pain. And I wanted to be around other people who were in pain as well. In America, people don’t talk about grief. They don’t talk about loss very much. It makes people very uncomfortable. And I wanted to be around other people who— where life and death was very much a real issue. And where it was something that people were dealing with every single day. Because I felt like I was dealing with this every single day.”