“You know, Elliot, I've always acted like your softness was weakness, but now I'm beginning…”

“Oh, to be so horny, but so unlovable. It's truly Shakespearean, darling.”

“Andrew: Broken-home sex-freak gas-station whore. Maury: Oh, that sounds like a Billy Joel…”

“Well, of course, sexism sucks, but it's really all a part of this whole crazy obsession…”