“Shawn: I'm so sorry about this; my assistant makes all my reservations but she's been under heavy medication. She was recently diagnosed with parvo.

Hotel Clerk: Isn't that a dog's disease?

Shawn: Yes, yes, it is. My assistant is a Golden Retriever, adorable but dim. Her whole keyboard is just three big buttons. She has very large paws. I should have fired her years ago but she's a rescue and I didn't have the heart.”