“Ben Seaver: [complaining about his bad first day at school] At lunch, some big guy with sideburns forced me to eat green Jell-O. God help me, I liked it.

Chrissy Seaver: [astonished] You ate green Jell-O?

Ben Seaver: Yeah. And it was like a nerd magnet. The whole Chess Club sat with me. They elected me president.

Maggie Malone Seaver: Ben, that doesn't make you a nerd.

Ben Seaver: [he pulls a piece of paper out of his back pocket] No? Well, this does. The school nurse says I need glasses. We're talkin' Full Frontal Nerdity.”