“Dylan says the squishy toilet seats are like pressing your butt against someone else's butt, and then pooping into their butthole.”
More from Dan Perrault
“A bidet shoot, like, a water stream up your ass. Now, it sounds a little gay, but it's not…”
“Everybody sees me as this island. Like I don't need anything from anyone. I feel like I'm…”
“I know without definitive proof, hope means nothing.”
“I don't think it would be appropriate for me, as a teacher to say that he's a ten. But you…”