Quote
Catalog

Quotes tagged ‘Toilet’

(19 total)

He's using you as a toilet friend.

— Armando Iannucci, Jon Brown, Karen Kelly, Rebecca Front, imdb.com

Marty Glouberman doesn't relax. The man eats on the toilet to save time.

— Andrew Goldberg, Mark Levin, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Andrew Glouberman (voice), John Mulaney, imdb.com

I'm going back to diapers.

— Kenya Barris, Peter Saji, Tracee Ellis Ross, Santamonica Johnson, Mykal-Michelle Harris, imdb.com

Dylan says the squishy toilet seats are like pressing your butt against someone else's butt, and then pooping into their butthole.

— Dan Perrault, Tony Yacenda, Spencer Diaz, Eduardo Franco, imdb.com

I think someone should just take this city and just...just flush it down the fuckin' toilet.

— Paul Schrader, Travis Bickle, Robert De Niro, imdb.com

Would I get married again? No, I want to be waiting outside the bathroom of my boarding house forever. Of course, I do. That's why I go to that wretched dance every week. I want to be waiting outside my own bathroom, while some bad-tempered fellow with hair growing out of his ears reads the newspape…

— Nick Hornby, Sheila Heffernan, Nora Jane Noone, imdb.com

Budnick: A long time ago, there was a guy named Zeke. He used to clean out the toilets here at camp. Dina: Already it's a horror story.

— Steve Slavkin, Bobby Budnick & Dina Alexander, Danny Cooksey & Heidi Lucas, imdb.com

Ellen: What are you looking at? Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... [Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet] Shitter was full. Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked…

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Celie: He just climb on top of me and do his business. Shug: 'Do his business'? You sound like he going to the toilet on you. Celie: That's what it feel like. Shug: Why then, Miss Celie...that means you still a virgin!

— Menno Meyjes, Celie, Whoopi Goldberg, imdb.com

Irwin Blitzer: Gentlemen, a bobsled is a simple thing. Man: Yeah, so's a toilet!

— Lynn Siefert, Michael Goldberg, Tommy Swerdlow, Irving 'Irv' Blitzer, John Candy, imdb.com

Lisa: Oh no, it's Ralph! Just make up some excuse! Homer: [answering the door] She's in the can. Go away. Ralph: Yes, sir! I'd do anything for Lisa.

— Frank Mula, Lisa Simpson, Yeardley Smith, imdb.com

I found the Fountain of Youth! It's the toilet!

— Joan Binder Weiss, David Weiss, Salem Saberhagen (voice), Nick Bakay, imdb.com

Excuse me, can I have everyone's attention please? Everyone can hear me? Good. Frankly, this is not a conversation I ever thought I would have in my professional career. But it's been brought to my attention that we have an ongoing situation in the washroom. Someone is not flushing. Once is an accid…

— Gordon Smith, Cliff Main, Ed Begley Jr., imdb.com

Get off the high road, Summer! We all got pinkeye because you won't stop texting on the toilet.

— Mike McMahan, Justin Roiland, Dan Harmon, Rick Sanchez (voice), Justin Roiland, imdb.com

Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!

— Mr. Lawrence, Jay Lender, Dan Povenmire, Spongebob Squarepants, Tom Kenny, imdb.com

People wonder why I call my toilet ‘the Jim’ instead of ‘the John.’ I do it so I can say ‘I go to the Jim first thing every morning.’

— Unknown, tcat.tc

What Do Reddit and My Toilet Have In Common? I find myself getting stuck on them every morning.

— ImBurningCookies, reddit.com

You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I've always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk!" That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.

— Daniel Tosh, en.wikiquote.org

You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.

— Kami Garcia, amazon.com

K WWW K K&MMWWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K K && && K KKKKKKK WW KK WWW & &MWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&KKK K& KKKKK KKKKK KK K KK WWW K &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&&&K KK K&K KKK&&&&KKK KKKKKKKKKK K KK MWWK KKMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&&& MKK KKKKKK&KKKK&&&KKKKKKK&&&KK WW KKKK WWK &M& MWWMM&MWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWMWM&KK K K &K KK KK KKK&&&&KK KKK&&KKK KM KKKK KM &WM& K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&K & KKKK K KKK&&K& KK&&KK MW KK K K&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMK &KK K K&&&&K KKKKK&&K&&KK KKK K KK&K&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&M&&&&&& &K K&&&&&K KKKK&&&&&KK WW K KKK& K&&&K&MMWWMWWWWWWWWMMWWWWWWWW&&&&KKK&K K& K&&&&K KKKKK&&&&&KKK WM KKKKKK KKKK &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&& & K&&KKK KKKK&&&&&&&&&KKK KKKK WM KK KKKKKKKKK K KK &&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&&& & KKK KK K&MM&&&&&&KKKKKKKKK K WM KK K KK K K &&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&KWM& WWWWM &K K KK K&&&&&KKKKKKK KKKKK KK K KK K &MWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& KK MWW MKKKK KK&&KK KKKK KKKKKK KKKKK KKKKK K KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWWWWWWWW KWMWWM& W KKKKKKK&&&&KK K K KKKK KKKK K K KK&KK K MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&WWWWWWM K& WMWWWWW W &&&&KKK&&K&KKK&&KKKK KKK K KKKK&&K K&WWWWWWWMWWM &WWWWMK WWWWWW&WK&&&KK K KK&&&&&K KMMW K &MWWWW&& &WWWWW&W& &KK K KK&&MMMMK WWWWW MMWM &WWWWWK M WWWWW W &&K KK&MMWMK M&W W &WWWWWKKW & &M& WWWW&WW &&&K KK&&K&M&K WM K WW KW KWWWWW&&MWM &WWWW& & K&&& &WW WWK&&& KKKK KK WWW KWWWWWWW&MWWW MWWWW&M&KMKK KMMMMMWMM &WW W K&&K K&K K WW MM KMWWWW&KK&M&WWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWW&K WW&W K&&K KKKKKK W &WWW MMWWMMK KKMWWWWMKK K&WWWWMM&&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& WWMW &&& KKKK W M KWWWWWM M&WWWWWMWWWWMM& K WWWWWWMM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& WWMWW &&&K KK&K K W MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& K&WWWWWWMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& MWWWWK&MM& K&&KK WW KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW &MWWWWWWM&&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWMK &WWWM&MWW& KK W WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM KMWWWWWWM&&M&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&& KW W&MWWM WMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KMWWWWWWM&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWW&K && W&WWMK K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWW K KMWWWWWWM&MWMWM&MWWWWWWWWMM KM MWW& KKKKKKK KKWWWWWWWWWWWWM MMK &WWWWWWWWWWWM&WW MWWWMMMM &&KMWWWM KKKKK MWWWWWWWWWWMW& K&M&&WWWWWWWWW&K WWWW& &MM&&K W&MWWW& KKK KK MMWWWWWWWMMWWM K&MW&&&K WWWWWWWW M&MWWM K&&&&&&&&K MWWWWWK WWWWW WWWW& MWMWWM KK&&&&&&&&K MMM& KW&MWMK & WWWW& &&&MMMMMM&&& && M M K&WM & &KWWWM K&&M&&&MMMM&K &M M KMMW K& WMMM& KW K MWW&

.: ,., .: . , . .::,., , , ::,., : : ,:, , . . : : ,,. , , ,. : ... , , :, : ,: .. , , : : :: :, :: . , .,.: , . ::, : , : ...:,:::: ., :::: , ..., , .,:,., : :::,: , ...: ... , : ::::: :. ..., : .. ,.. .,,: : :::::: :. ..., .. ,. .,:: : : , : :::::: :. ..., . .,,,,: : , ,. , : ::::::: :. ..., .. ..,,::: :: . , : ::::::: :. ...: ,,:,:::,: : ,. , : :.: ::::::: : , , . .,,,:::::, .,,:,., : , : :, : :::,::: , . .,:::,, ::. .. , : ,,: . , :::::: , . , , ,,: :, ,,,. . . :,,: ::::::: , ,: ,...,: : , , : , ::: ::::::: : . : ,,,:.,,.,: ,, : ,: ::::::: : :::::: : , : , , ,,: ,: :,. ...,: :::::: , : , : .. .,, ,. .,: ::::::: :, , . : : ,....., , .,:: :::::: :. , : ,....,,: :. ...,,: :::::: :. , , :. : ,, , ....,:: :::::: :. , : ,. : .. .., ., , : :. ..,.,:: ::::: :. ,: : , .,.: ..: :: :: , ,,,,:: :::: : :. ,: : . . . .: . , .,,,: :::: :. .: : ,.,, .: . ,,,, :::: : :. .: : , ,:, ,:: . .: :. : : ,::,: : :::: :. .: :.,. . ,., . . . .::: :::: :. .: ,::. .,:,: : . : .: . : ::: :. ,: ,,: .,:, :. , . : : . .: : : :: :. ,: :,,, ..,::, ,: : ::,: . : :: :. ,: .,,... ,,:, . :. . : , : .

*<* }}}}}}*<~~~<<~* * ~ ~<* * }*} }}}}}}}*<<<***<< ~<} ~} } < *} }}}}}}*******<< ~<} ~<} * }* ~ }} }}*******~} ~<}} ~}*<** } } * <} }}}******<~* ~< ~ ~*<~~~} }* < * <} } }*****}*~< ~ ~<}~ <*~~ } * <} }***}}*<~* ~ ~<}~ ~ ~ < *< }} * * } ~* }}*}**<* ~ ~<}* <<~~ ~*} *~ } ~* }}*****}}* ~<} ~~~}}} }} } ~} }}***~ ~<*}} ~<*} *}***}} }* < }**~ ~<*} ~~ <<**<* ** * ~} }< ~<**} <}*}}}} }} *< < * }< ~<**}} ~}}*~*} ~ }}*<} <} *< ~<*** }* *} ~ <*}} * }*~ ~<*** ~ * < *~~*} < ~~~ ~*}}} < }*~ ~<***} ~< ~ < } } * * *< < }*~ }} ~ < * < <~} } }}< }}}}}}} ~} }*~ ~}}~~} ~ ~ ~ } ~ < ~< *< }*<<<***}*}***}}} ~~* }*<~ }~ } ~~<~ *~ ~~ } ~~ < ~ *< < ~<} *<* }**<~~~~<<<*******} ~* }*<~ }~~<~ *}< <* ~}* *< }* ~< *< * *<<<~ ~~<<*****}} } ~* }*<~ } * ~<}<~** ~<~*< ~} *~ <<} *<~ *<<<~~ ~ ~~~<* }}}}} ~~* }*<~ } < <* } }}} } }<<< ~** < }<~<<<~~ <**} }}}}} ~~* }*<~ * } ~<* <~* *<} *<**<<<~ ~<} }}}}} ~* }< * } < ~} *<< ~ }<****<<~ ~<} ~ ~* }< ~ *~ }} * * }*<* }* }*<****<~ ~~<} ~~* *< ~} }* <~ ~} }}<< ~ *<<****<~ ~~< ~<} }*< ~** < ~ < }<~ < } }<<<***<< ~~~*} } ~~< }*< <}*~ } } } * } <* ~ <~<*<<<<~ ~~~<* }}} ~ ~* }*< <}}} < < < ~ <} < *} }*< <~<*****<~ ~~~~~~* }}} ~~~* *< <*}}< <~}< <<} ~} * } }< *~<**}}}*<~ ~~<<~~~* ~ < }< <}}*}< ~<*~ ~} * ** < <<<*}}}}*< <<<~~~~* * ~ * *< <****} *~~~ ~*} ~ ~ ~ < } *<*~~ *~**}} }< ~~<<<~~~~* }~ ~ ~} *~ <****}}}}}**~ < } < ~}<*~ }*} *<<*}} }< ~~~<<<<~~~<<} } }< ~ < *~ <******}**}}} ~<} }} ~~ ~ << ~}~< ~< ~} ~ *}<*} <<*}} }*~ <<<****<<~~<<} }}} * ~ ~} }*~ <***********} ~} * } ~ <~ ~<} *<*}<}< * * <<< *<*}} }~ *******<~<~~<<} } }~ ~ ~* }*< <***********}* ~} }~} }< < ~~} * <~ } * *<} < ***}}}**<~<<~~<} }<

joVUU Vjjj U o jV UojjVjUU U U UVUo VVVVVVVVoooojjoojjooVUVUVUUVVVVVVUU U UVVj oVo joVU Uoj V j o jo joo jUU UojoV UVVVoVVoVVooooVooVVU UVUVoooUU U UUVoVj VVoo jooVU UVoo j V j jo jjVjoV o UUVUUj V UVVoVVoVVVVooVVUU UUUV UVooVoV oVo jooVoUU UVojjjj jVo j jj UUVo jVj UVoooVVoooooVU UVVVVo oVo jjoVVU Uoojj U j joVVj o VoojU UV UVVVooVVVVVVUUUU U U U UVVVVVo oVo jjVVU Vojjj j j U jjVo ojj VoUoVjoo V VoVoVVVVU UUUUUUUU U UoVU VoVoooVo joj ooUUU VVVoooooj o V j Vj o UVUUU jVo j oVoooVVU UVVUU VUVV VVoVooooojoj jj joVUU UUUVVVVUUUoj joj o UVoVUUoj VUVoooooV UoVoVV UVUUVVVUVVoooooVo oo oVUUUUVU UU UVj j ojoV j V o UVVVVooVU UUVooVU UVUVUUUVVoVoVVj oVV VVU U UVojjjj jV UUUoV Vo UooVUUUU UUVooVoUU U UUUUUo V jVV U VVoooVooj j oUVo U ooUj Uj VU U UUVVVVVVVVVVUU U UU V U VUU U UUU UUVooooVVVoj UU o VU ojj V V U VUUUU UVUVVUUU U UUUUVU V V U UUU UUUVojoooVVUoj VVVU V U o UV UUUVVVVU UUUU UU VUUUUU VVUVU VVjjjjooVVVj o V UV U j U UUU U UUVVUVU UUU U UUUVUUV jVV U UVojjjooooo j joj V U j Uo o V UUVVUU UUUVUUUU UUUUVUVV jVU UUVooojoooj o j Uj j jj j UUUVVooVVVUU UUUVVVVVVVVoooVVVUUUUUUUUVoV jVVU UVooVVooj j Vo oU V jU o o U o U UUVVoj joojojjjjjjojjoVoVUUUUU UVoojo ooV VVooVojj j o o V j U V U VVVjj jjjjooooVUVUUUUUUVVooo ooUU UVooVoj o U j o V Vj U Vj joVVojooVVoVVVVVVoojjo VVV ooooooj j j Uj j Uoo UUo oU V j Uoj jooooooooVVVoVooj jjjo ooU U UVoooojjj jV j U j U V U U Vj jVVojoooooVVVooj j oVV U UUUoojjjjjj V UV jUUVj oVo j Vo j V j ojj o o oojoooooVVVoj j oVU UVoojjjjjj V oj U U oj j UV Vj ooVVVooVVoo jj ooVU UUUVojjjoooj j Uj U V j U j o V o ojoVoooVVoojjjjjjj ooU U UUVojjjoUVj U Uj o j V jjoooVoVoojjjjoooo ojV UUUVoojoVVVo o U U j o jjjooooooojjjjjoojj VoUU UUVUUUVojooVo U o U U jjoooooojjj jjoooj jVoUVVVVVVVUVVoooooo o j V V j j j jjjooooojj jooooo oVVUUUUUUUUUVojoooVo j o jV Uo j U UjU o jjjooooo jjoooooo VVUU UVojjooVoj j o U V U Uj V jjjoVVojjjjjooooooj jVoUUU UUVoojooVoj o o V j jjjVooojjjjooooooj oUUU U UVUojoojoVoj j U UUV o jjj jojooojjjjjoVVooj Uo VoojjoVVoj o U V jU j jUj V jjj oooojj jjjoooVoo jUU UooooVVoj V jo oVV j V o j jjo ojoj jjoooVVoj VV UVVooooo Uj UV o j o jo jooj o o jooo jjjj jjooVVVVVo oU UVVooooj o V j VU U U U jj j V j j o jjoVUVj ojojjjooVUVVVo

W K&&MWMWWWWMM&K & W &&MWMWWWWMM& K & &MWWWWWWMM&K K K K K &&MMMWMM&&M&K K KK & KMWWWWWWWWWWWW&KK KK K&MWWWWW&MWW W& KK KK &W& WWM K& K WW WMM W K&KMK WM KKKKKM&M MKK K &WWMMWMW& MW&&WWWWWMWK WM K M WWWWWWWW MM&KMWWWWM& M&M KMWWWW MWW&&&KWWM& MK &WWWM &M& WM &M KK & MM KW KKK& K MM&&K K M KKKK&K W KWW KK KK && K WW KWW& K KK &W WWWMMWWWWM & && M& W& KWWWWMW& K WWW& M& &WWM K &&&MM KK WWWW WWWWM WWWWWW WWWMWW WWWWWWWWK MMWWWWW&W& W&WWWWWWWWW& WWMW&&&MMM& W WKMWMMM&WWW&&WM WW MK&& KKKK& KW M K&KKKK& & MWK & &WMW K K && W WWW M K W W WWWWWWWMW MWWWWWKW W&WWWWWWMWWWW W WWWWWWWWW WW W WW MW W WW WW W WK WW M W WWW W M & K&W

: , . , , , : : : . ,, : :: . . , :: : ,, :: : ::: : ,:,,,,. , : . ::: .. . : :, , . ::: , :..,: ::: :, .: . ::: :, . : ..: :: : . : . :: :: : ., : . :: : : . :: . , . : : ,. :: , , . : ., , , , . , : . . ., . .. , . . . , :::, :. .. ,, :::: : , : :,., , . . , : .,,:::::: .: : . , ,. : , : : : : ., . ...,, :::: . .. : :,. :,. : . : .,: ,. : :.. ,,::, ,: ::, :::,:,::,, ..,, ,,,. ,: ::.. .,,.. . . .. , . .... ,. ,, . , : : : . , . : :: :.: ::,: . . . : . . ,,,::: :,

* }}*<*~ ~ * }}**< ~< *< * ~ ***< <~ < * * } < }}*} ~ <~} } * ~ ~}} * ~ * }< *< ~ <}< < ~ ~<*}} } }< ~ ~ ~ * ~< < ~ *~~*}*} } }< < <} * }}* ~} ~ <<~ } *} } ~ < < * }**< ~} ~ ~< } * * <**~ ~} ~ ~ ~}** < * <*** <~ } < ~ }}<< } * *} < < }<} * <<~ } ~ } }~ ***}} <}} <~< < <} ***<< } < }~ ****} <~<< }< * } <} }}}<<< < ~ } ~**<*} ~~ }< * << * < *}}<<<< * * ~<<<<* ~}~~** *<* ~ * ~} }<~<<< } * }< ~~~<~~< ~~ } * * * }*~~<~~< < } < ~~ < *} <*~ ~~~ < } } }}} }} *< ~ } }< }}}}}}<~ <}*< **< ~ ** ~ }* ** ****}}* * ~< <}}*< ~~~~<~ } <~ ~*<*<< < < ~~~ ~ < * ~ * * ~ }}}} * }*} } * < ~~ ~ *} <~ ~ * ~ * < < ~ } *} }* } < <**~~ } ~ <<****<~~ ~ ~ * * ~ }~ < ~

jVVj U o UojV UUUV VooojjjoUUVooVUUUVjUj joVVVj j oooV UVVVj UUoooooUUUUUUVUUUVoo j joVVjjj jUVV VoVo oooUUVVVVU UoVUVjoj oVVVV V j jjV UUVo UooU UojoUU UVVVojo o VUUVVooVo j VoU o UUVUVoVVVVV UUUUUVVUV oVVUVjjVo Uo U oUUU UUUUVVUVVUVVVV jVU ojoj VVV V j UUVojjjVoojoooVVVVj oU Voo o o V V V j o jj UUj joooooojj VUVUojj j j U U U V oooooj oUVVojoj o V V V jooojjj joUVVojVj V U U joojjoo oVVVVojVj j U UV UV jooo joo VVUUVojVj j o VV j j joojjoV VU UooV U jj U o j U jj jj joVV U UVoo V o V o o U VU jjjVUU V ooV U jj jo o jjU joVVUV UoVV V jo V oo U j jV oVVoooVVVU o o j jj V o VVoooooU o V o Uj j jjjj U j jU V o jj j jV j o U o UU o VV U joU o V VVj jjojjUU UUj jjj jjVo oVVoVUV jj V UV j U U VU U jjj j o U U