“Narrator: Who is Eric Cartman's father? Is it Chief Running Water? Or is it Chef? Is it Mephesto? Or that little monkey guy that follows him around? Or is it Mr. Garrison?
Jimbo: Nope. He's gay.
Mr. Garrison: You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!
Narrator: Is it Jimbo?
Jimbo: Daaagh!
Narrator: Or is it Officer Barbrady?
Officer Barbrady: Huh?! Where?!
Narrator: Or could it be Ned?
Ned: Could be.
Narrator: Or Mr. Broflovski?
Kyle: Dad, how could you?!
Narrator: Or is it the 1991 Denver Broncos? The answer is coming on an all-new South Park, in just four weeks.
Cartman: What?! Son of a bitch!”
More from David A. Goodman
“Radio Announcer: How do you feel about the KOZY-FM Halloween Haunt, little boy? Stan: This…”
“Mrs. Cartman: Oh, that's not funny, boys. Eric isn't fat, he's big-boned. Kyle: He must…”
“Mr. Garrison: Now kids we're going to talk about sexual harassment. Cartman: Is sexual…”
“We're not going to let them commit suicide, even if we have to kill them.”