“Barbara: [over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.

Shaun: Well, are they still there?

Barbara: [over the phone] I’m not sure, we’ve shut the curtains.

Shaun: Did you try the police?

Barbara: [over the phone] Well, I thought about it.

Shaun: Are you OK? Did they hurt you?

Barbara: [over the phone] No, I’m fine. I’m fine.

Shaun: Mum...

Barbara: [over the phone] Well, they were a bit...bitey.

Shaun: [concerned] Mum, have you been bitten?

Barbara: [over the phone] No...but Philip has.

Shaun: [calmly] Oh, OK.

Ed: Has she been bitten?

Shaun: [to Ed] No, Philip has.

Ed: [calmly] Oh, OK.

Shaun: Listen, Mum, what sort of state is he in?

Barbara: [over the phone] Oh, he’s fine. Bit under the weather.

Shaun: I see.

Ed: What’s the deal?

Shaun: [to Ed] We may have to kill my stepdad.”