“I'm gonna finish this meatloaf, get on a plane to Toronto and shoot you in your lying face.”
More from Keith Heisler
“I wanted to be the mother of the first boy to whack it on the moon.”
“Why are you calling me Legs?! Is there something wrong with my legs? Is that why there's a…”
“Hayley: Jeff, I don't wanna go to Mexico! Okay, that's your plan! We need a plan we can…”
“Oh, I love your religion ... for the crazy! Virgin birth. Water into wine. It's like Harry…”