“Do you know how long I've been called Cock Biter? Four years. People I've never met call me Cock Biter to my face. I bit Simon Furthassle's scrote. I had sex with four guys at the same time. I fucked my second cousin. I'll give you a hand job for a fiver if you like. Do you know how it started? Simon tried to kiss me at Claire Tyler's 14th birthday. I said no. So he told everyone I'd given him a blow job and bitten his dick, and that was it. This kind of thing sticks.”