“Maternal instinct is always irrational. Doesn't mean it's wrong.”
More from Matt Witten
“So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I…”
“Donna: Excuse me, Jackie, when exactly did you lose your soul? Jackie: Um, cheerleading…”
“Please, Jenna can't hear us. She's blind.”
“Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good.”