“On the Midwest: People call us the heart of America; we pride ourselves on being real, salt of the earth folks who help each other out, swap creamed corn recipes, have euchre tournaments, and debate good-naturedly over who makes the best deep dish pizza. (Seriously, only tourists eat that shit.)”
More from Melanie LaForce
“Chicago is superior to cities such as Boston, which had no urban planning whatsoever and…”
“It is widely accepted in current times that newborn babies are a Cthulhu level of ugly.”
“Acknowledgement form a dude-object-of-desire is the brain chemical equivalent of snorting…”
“Since I was very young, my mom has told me I have “champagne tastes.” This meant that I…”