“He stole, he slept, he was rude to the customers. There goes the best employee a convenience store ever had.”
More from Mike Reiss
“[finishing a movie review] ... and that is why Goldie Hawn should be shot!”
“Margo: Debutante balls are outdated, elitist, and sexist. You said so yourself in your…”
“Jay Sherman: [answering the phone] Hello? Eleanor Sherman: Jay, this is your mother. Your…”
“Oh, my shrink was right! God does hate me!”