“We have to do something with your hair. A pony tail implies you are either operating heavy machinery or emptying the liter box. Neither of those things inspires an erection.”
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“You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper.”
“Abby: You're in love with me. Why? Mike: Beats the shit out of me.”
“But you want a relationship, then here's how you get one: It's called a Stairmaster. Get…”
“Men are simple. We cannot be trained.”