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Quotes tagged ‘Dating Tips’

(192 total)

He did everything right. I’ve learned not to trust men who do things right.

Be like Ben Stiller in There's Something About Mary who masturbates before dates so he is honest and isn't dying to get into his date's pants.

— Shakira Sison, twitter.com

Abby: You're in love with me. Why? Mike: Beats the shit out of me.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

But you want a relationship, then here's how you get one: It's called a Stairmaster. Get on it, and get skinny...and get some trashy lingerie while you're at it...because at the end of the day, all we're interested in is looks. And no one falls in love with your personality at first sight.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

Men are simple. We cannot be trained.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

He'll call back in five seconds. Now, come on.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

So there you have it. Never assume a girl is easy or assume she's a prude. There are many layers in between, and it's your job, gentlemen, to peel back those layers and figure out exactly what type of woman you're dealing with.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

Let me tell you something about women. Women would have us believe that they are the victims; That we break their hearts for sport. That's crap. They say they want romance, they say they want true love, but all they want is a check list. Is he perfect? Is he handsome? Is he a doctor? For you men who…

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

Listen to you. Desperately asking me if you sounded desperate?

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

We have to do something with your hair. A pony tail implies you are either operating heavy machinery or emptying the liter box. Neither of those things inspires an erection.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

Rule number four never talk about your problems. Men don't really listen or care. Some men pretend to care.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

Jeans are all about the curves of the ass.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

Length is very important. We need short enough to see some thigh but not so short.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

Rule number three men are very visual. We have to change your look. You are a very attractive woman but you are completely inaccessible. You are all about comfort and efficiency.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

Rule number two, laugh at whatever he says. A fake laugh is like a fake orgasm.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

Rule number one never criticize. Men are incapable of growth, change or progress. For men self-improvement ends at toilet training.

— Nicole Eastman, Karen McCullah, Mike Chadway, Gerald Butler, amazon.com

The Clingy woman plays hard to get. The Confident woman is hard to get.

— Leslie Braswell, amazon.com

The Clingy woman will settle for anything. A Confident woman would rather be single than settle.

— Leslie Braswell, amazon.com

The Clingy woman focuses on what a man says. A Confident woman focuses on his actions.

— Leslie Braswell, amazon.com

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