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Nicole Eastman

16 quotes

All Dating Rules (15)Dating Tips (15)Saint (1)Librarian (1)stripper (1)Sinner (1)

You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper.

Abby: You're in love with me. Why? Mike: Beats the shit out of me.

But you want a relationship, then here's how you get one: It's called a Stairmaster. Get on it, and get skinny...and get some trashy lingerie while you're at it...because at the end of the day, all we're interested in is looks. And no one falls in love with your personality at first sight.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

Men are simple. We cannot be trained.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

He'll call back in five seconds. Now, come on.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

So there you have it. Never assume a girl is easy or assume she's a prude. There are many layers in between, and it's your job, gentlemen, to peel back those layers and figure out exactly what type of woman you're dealing with.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

Let me tell you something about women. Women would have us believe that they are the victims; That we break their hearts for sport. That's crap. They say they want romance, they say they want true love, but all they want is a check list. Is he perfect? Is he handsome? Is he a doctor? For you men who…

Dating Tips Dating Rules

You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

Listen to you. Desperately asking me if you sounded desperate?

Dating Tips Dating Rules

We have to do something with your hair. A pony tail implies you are either operating heavy machinery or emptying the liter box. Neither of those things inspires an erection.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

Rule number four never talk about your problems. Men don't really listen or care. Some men pretend to care.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

Jeans are all about the curves of the ass.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

Length is very important. We need short enough to see some thigh but not so short.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

Rule number three men are very visual. We have to change your look. You are a very attractive woman but you are completely inaccessible. You are all about comfort and efficiency.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

Rule number two, laugh at whatever he says. A fake laugh is like a fake orgasm.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

Rule number one never criticize. Men are incapable of growth, change or progress. For men self-improvement ends at toilet training.

Dating Tips Dating Rules

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