“Here’s the reason I don’t wanna go on that family vacation: It’s a working farm. And I’m the only one whose hands are big enough to guide the bull during mating.”
More from Robert Carlock
“I did Big Sister in college. That little girl taught me how to use tampons”
“There was a cyclone in Brooklyn last year. It destroyed two vintage T-shirt shops and a…”
“Hey, can I borrow a cup of flour? Some white kids outside want cocaine...”
“This musical is going to be a lop. which is a flop which couldn't give an F.”