“Lois Griffin: Oh no, Stewie's havin' a tantrum. Come here, sweetie. [Stewie bites her…”

“Tough guy: Smells like this guy's already wet himself. Peter Griffin: Don't flatter…”

“Chris Griffin: Hey, Dad, are you busy? I was thinking we could spend some time together.…”

“You can't get a boner! You're a failure as a man and a father!”