“Lois Griffin: Oh no, Stewie's havin' a tantrum. Come here, sweetie. [Stewie bites her…”

“Tough guy: Smells like this guy's already wet himself. Peter Griffin: Don't flatter…”

“[When Brian was texting while driving] You know, that was a stroller, not a speed bump.”

“Chris Griffin: Hey, Dad, are you busy? I was thinking we could spend some time together.…”