“On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how pissed is he?”
More from Tom Haverford
“Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.”
“I'm gonna buy some sweat pants and a Nicholas Sparks novel. Might as well lean into it.”
“Treat Yo Self!”
“'Zerts are what I call desserts. Tray-trays are entrees. I call sandwiches sammies,…”