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Tom Haverford

14 quotesUnited States Of America · Male

Thomas Montgomery "Tom" Haverford (/ˈhævərfərd/ HAV-ər-fərd), born Darwish Sabir Ismael Gani, is a character on the series Parks and Recreation. He is a sarcastic, underachieving government official for the city of Pawnee who—in his own mind—is revered for his high levels of confidence and unmatched entrepreneurial skills. 2Background Thomas Montgomery Haverford is an Indian American, who changed his name from Darwish Sabir Ismael Gani to be more appealing in politics. He is often assumed to be an immigrant by much of the Parks and Recreation staff (Leslie often assuming him to be Libyan), though, as he frequently reminds them, he hails from South Carolina, as does Ansari. He works as Leslie Knope's immediate subordinate at the Pawnee parks and recreation department, often serving as her right-hand man. Tom displays an extremely sarcastic, mischievous and cocky attitude, and frequently attempts to secure favors from local contractors. Tom has demonstrated his talent and passion for entrepreneurship in many occasions, including Entertainment 720, Rent-A-Swag, and Tom's Bistro. He takes his appearance very seriously, often donning office-casual polo shirts, as well as fitted suits with boat shoes. He also buys clothing from the boys' collection at Brooks Brothers ("Telethon"). In "Go Big or Go Home," Tom also boasted about ladies' sneakers he bought from his workplace during Pawnee's government shutdow

All humor (10)Funny (10)Innovation (4)Abbreviations (2)Work (2)Made Up Words (1)Self Care (1)little (1)angry (1)ball out (1)Low Road (1)Nicholas Sparks (1)Treat Yourself (1)Miscommunication (1)Pissed (1)

From “Parks and Recreation”

I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.

humor Funny High Road Low Road

Emojis are little cartoons you text instead of words. Instead of saying, ‘What up, boo?’ you can type ‘What up’ and then a cute little ghost because that means boo. There’s even a little Indian guy, but he has a turban on, which I think is racist. But the Asian guy also has a racist hat on. And it’s…

humor Funny Innovation Technology Emojis

Zerts are what I call desserts. Tray-trays are entrées. I call sandwiches ‘sammies,’ ‘sandoozles,’ or ‘Adam Sandlers.’ Air conditioners are ‘cool blasterz.’ I call cakes ‘big ol’ cookies.’ I call noodles ‘long-ass rice.’ Fried chicken is ‘fry-fry chicky-chick.’ Chicken parm is…

humor Funny Innovation food Abbreviations

Treat yo self.

humor Funny Treat Yourself

Own a nightclub, call it Eclipse, that’s only open for one hour two times a year. Cover charge? Five thousand dollars.

humor Funny Innovation Ideas Clubs

On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how pissed is he?

humor Funny Chris Brown Pissed angry

Most people would say ‘the deets’, but I say ‘the tails’. Just another example of innovation.

humor Funny Abbreviations Innovation

Jerry: 'I really wish I could have your body.' Tom: 'What?' April: 'Eww, like tied up naked in your basement?' Jerry: 'No, no I mean you’re in good shape and you can eat whatever you want.' Leslie: 'That was weird, Jerry.'

humor Funny Body Health Miscommunication

Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

humor Funny Work party

How do you make any event classy on a budget? Red carpet. My entire apartment is red carpet. On top of that, leading into my bedroom, a second red carpet. Oh, what’s this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I’m walking on red carpet.

humor Funny Red Carpet classy

From “Soulmates”

'Zerts are what I call desserts. Tray-trays are entrees. I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool blasterz, with a z. I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big ol' cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fri-fri chicky-chick.…

Words New Words Made Up Words

From “Pawnee Rangers”

Treat Yo Self!

Catchphrase Treat Yo Self Self Care

From “Ben's Parents”

Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.

Work little ball out spend

From “Jerry's Retirement”

I'm gonna buy some sweat pants and a Nicholas Sparks novel. Might as well lean into it.

Sweat Pants Nicholas Sparks Lean Into It

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