"I swear to God, there is no more liberating and fun thing to..." — Tom Segura
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I swear to God, there is no more liberating and fun thing to do in this world than scream in your best aggressive black guy voice. Holy shit. So much fun. I highly recommend you do it. Not if you’re black. If you’re black, you already do it. But if you’re white, do it. Do it in public. Do it where there are black people. And here’s a little secret, if you do it well, there is a possibility that a black guy will yell back in return. I do it all the time. I live in Los Angeles. Pick your spot. I go to Crenshaw. There’s never a shortage there. I do. I hang back and I go, 'hey, yo!' And sometimes… sometimes, a black guy’ll go, ‘sup, D?’
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So, I’m naked. I’m in the fetal position. [My doctor] lubes up. It is a ton of lube. I…
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It was a Catholic school, and on Wednesdays, they had Mass. So picture, you’re a new…
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Masturbating is important, you know? You appreciate it more when you’re a parent. I look…
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I support building a wall if it’s around the state of Louisiana because those people are…