“I am telling you, the moment I get bumped up to first class, I get washed over with this feeling. I’m like, ‘look at these fucking poor pieces of shit on my flight. Ugh.’ I’m so much better than them. Don’t stand next to me. Ugh, dude. I dare you to try to come up from coach and use the first class…”— Tom Segura, amazon.comTagged: Airplaines, First Class Seats, classism
“Every week, it’s another city for me. I get asked the same questions every week by people. ‘Are people the same everywhere?’ No. Some places suck and they have shittier people. I just gave you a sociology degree.”— Tom Segura, amazon.comTagged: travel, Sociology
“You can learn a lot from television. For instance, without television, I would have no idea that Steven Seagal is out of his fucking mind. Or alive. I also didn’t know that.”— Tom Segura, amazon.comTagged: TV, Steven Seagal
“I swear to God, there is no more liberating and fun thing to do in this world than scream in your best aggressive black guy voice. Holy shit. So much fun. I highly recommend you do it. Not if you’re black. If you’re black, you already do it. But if you’re white, do it. Do it in public. Do it where t…”— Tom Segura, amazon.comTagged: Black Guy Voice, Los Angeles, Crenshaw Boulevard