“I’d love to learn another language, but there’s too much porn to watch.”
More from Tom Segura
“So, I’m naked. I’m in the fetal position. [My doctor] lubes up. It is a ton of lube. I…”
“It was a Catholic school, and on Wednesdays, they had Mass. So picture, you’re a new…”
“Masturbating is important, you know? You appreciate it more when you’re a parent. I look…”
“I support building a wall if it’s around the state of Louisiana because those people are…”