“Some days I feel like I can conquer the world. Other days it takes me three hours to convince myself to shower.”
More from Unknown
“It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.”
“When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.”
“What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck? You…”
“Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.”