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50+ Painfully Funny One Liners

(7 total)

“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”

Tagged: Funny

“I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days already.”

Tagged: Funny

“It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.”

Tagged: Funny

“Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!'”

Tagged: joke

“When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.”

Tagged: Funny

“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”

“I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.”