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Californication

by Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, Adam Bernstein(43 total)

A self-loathing, alcoholic writer attempts to repair his damaged relationships with his daughter and her mother while combating sex addiction, a budding drug problem, and the seeming inability to avoid making bad decisions.

Seasons

Californication Season 1 (11)Californication Season 2 (5)Californication Season 3 (4)Californication Season 4 (6)Californication Season 5 (7)Californication Season 6 (3)Californication Season 7 (7)

Characters

Tom Kapinos (37)Hank Moody (30)David Duchovny (30)Gina Fattore (4)Karen van der Beek (3)Pamela Adlon (3)Marcy Runkle (3)Natascha McElhone (3)Michael Lehmann (2)Adam Bernstein (2)

Friends don’t let friends bang each other’s soul mates.

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

I’m just like my father. You know, there isn’t a woman that I’ve met that I haven’t fallen in love with for 10 minutes or 10 years.

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

At the end of the day, it’s all about her. It’s always been about her.

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

Nobody likes you. You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you fucking douche.

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. I mean, we have all this amazing technology, and yet… computers have turned into basically four-figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but… But all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted c…

— Susan McMartin, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

I miss your smell. When you left, I couldn’t wash the sheets because I didn’t want to lose that completely… You. And… it fucked me up for a long time because I would wake up and I’d smell you and I’d think you were there. And that would… My heart would break all over again. I think that’s why I go i…

— Tom Kapinos, Eric Weinberg, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

Not to contradict your dear old mom, who’s both wicked smart and wonderful, but, no, we don’t have to be realistic. Not when it comes to love.

— Gina Fattore, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

You can’t snort a line of coke off a woman’s ass and not wonder about her dreams. It’s not gentlemanly.

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

Rehab is for quitters.

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

You know, most people, they go their whole life, and they never really find someone they love. They say they do because everybody’s the star of their own little romantic comedy, but they’re full of shit. You and me, we had women that loved us for who we were, really loved us for who we were, and we…

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

The groom should not see you in the dress just before the wedding, that’s bad luck. You know what’s worst luck? Is getting married, itself. I’ve read studies. It’s like 2 out of 3 of those end in divorce, sometimes more. 3 out of 2, some.

— Gina Fattore, Eric Weinberg, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

You can’t blame everything on the economy, douche bag.

— Gina Fattore, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

I may be easy, but I’m not sleazy.

— Tom Kapinos, imdb.com

Californication

It is possible that longing for something is better than actually having it. I’ve heard it said that satisfaction is the death of desire.

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

I probably won’t go down in history, but I will go down on your sister.

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Californication

It reminds me of when we first started dating and I would knock on your door and in the time between you answering, I would try to imagine what you were gonna look like. And when you did, you'd be, like, ten times more beautiful than I could ever imagine. And I'd get this funny feeling in my stomach…

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Now vs. Then We Used To Be In Love

Turns out it's really expensive to live in a hotel.

— Tom Kapinos, Hank Moody, David Duchovny, imdb.com

Living In A Hotel hotels

You need boundaries. Sometimes you just need someone to say no, let's not do that because that is fucking sick. Otherwise, we'd all be running around with shit, piss, and blood all over our damn selves and shoving vibrators up our asses all day.

— Tom Kapinos, Marcy Runkle, Pamela Adlon, imdb.com

Sexual Limits boundaries Perverted

If you were gonna have sex with someone and you knew that it would be the absolute last time, what do you think it would be like?

— Tom Kapinos, Karen van der Beek, Natascha McElhone, imdb.com

Sex last time Relationship Questions

I thought we were a fucking fairy tale, but if you're careless with something long enough you know it breaks. And that's how I feel, broken, completely and utterly broken.

— Tom Kapinos, Karen van der Beek, Natascha McElhone, imdb.com

broken Relationship Struggles

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