“Kids in the audience probably recognize me as Cowboy Willie on the Uncle Funnypants Show.”— Fred Willard, youtube.comTagged: local TV
“As you can see, he's completely normal-looking, you look just like the rest of us, it's as plain as the nose on your face.”— Jerry Hubbard, youtube.comTagged: normal, Jews
“Jerry, here—I just met him, but I'm sure he'll grow on me.”— Martin Mull, youtube.comTagged: Backhanded Compliments
“Welcome very, very, very, much, Morton. I guess it was just our luck that you were stopped today as you were driving through town and it was the police chief's idea, and a pretty good one I think, to have you on the show because, well, it occurred to him that many Fernwooders or Fernwoodians or Fern…”— Martin Mull, youtube.comTagged: Jews
“That's the problem with beer—you don't buy it, you rent it.”— Martin Mull, youtube.comTagged: Beer, Urination
“He really doesn't understand the meaning of the word 'handicapped,' does he? Makes me embarrassed to be complaining about my rose fever.”— Fred Willard, youtube.comTagged: Handicapped, rose fever