“I’ve had a rotten day, and I'm in a foul mood. A fat woman came into the shoe store today and said that she was a size five. I shoved her hoof into a shoe, my thumb got stuck in the back of the shoe. She panicked, reared up, and galloped around the store, dragging me on the floor behind her. Thank G…”— Ellen L. Fogle, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.comTagged: Misery, Working Class, Fat-Shaming
“I Care, by Al Bundy. When hooters jiggle around and I find nickels on the ground, I care. When a Mustang engine purrs and the bathroom is not hers, I care. When the pitcher's on the mound and the wife is underground, I care. But when I've been playing this for days, I will kill anyone who stays. I s…”— Kevin Curran, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.comTagged: Poetry, Hooters, Mustang, bathroom, Murder
“Dad had one great dream, a dream that had been handed down from generation to generation of male Bundys: to build their own room and live separately from their wives. Sadly, they all failed.”— Kevin Curran, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.comTagged: Failure, Generations, Dead Bedrooms, Loveless Marriage
“You're a dead man. Today is the first day of the end of your life.”— Ron Leavitt, Michael G. Moye, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.comTagged: Dead Man, Death Threat