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Quotes tagged ‘bathroom’

(38 total)

At least I don’t do crystal meth in the bathroom all night long, bitch.

— Brandi Glanville, imdb.com

When it comes to storing all your beauty products, size *does* matter.

— BRAELYN WOOD, LAURA HANRAHAN, Cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan.com

Stanley: Where’s a person go to the bathroom around here? Magnet: Pick a hole, any hole.

— Louis Sachar, José "Magnet", Miguel Castro, imdb.com

Maybe I can meet you at the baggage carousel bathroom, and kiss you on the lips, your, uh, private lips.

— Sarah Schneider, Chris Kelly, Jeff, Beck Bennett, imdb.com

Dying through overexertion on the toilet is the stuff of royal legend.

— Chris Bourn, melmagazine.com

Andrew Glouberman: I'm coming, I'm coming. Hormone Monster: Not yet, that's why we gotta get to the bathroom, Sweetheart!

— Andrew Goldberg, Nick Kroll, Maurice "Maury" Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him...the things he'd say to me. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say? Igor: 'What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?'

— Gene Wilder, Mel Brooks, Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Gene Wilder, imdb.com

Sollozzo: [to Michael, in Sicilian] I am sorry. What happened to your father was business. I have much respect for your father. But your father, his thinking is old-fashioned. You must understand why I had to do that. Now let's work through where we go from here. [Michael tries speaking in Sicilian,…

— Mario Puzo, Francis Ford Coppola, Michael Corleone, Al Pacino, imdb.com

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, my wife thinks I'm in the bathroom.

— Cindy Chupack, Tom Caltabiano, Steve Skrovan, Frank Barone, Peter Boyle, imdb.com

Homer: Can we stop? I have to go to the bathroom. Kidnapper: You just went five minutes ago! Homer: I have a bladder the size of a brazil nut! Kidnapper: We just call them nuts here

— Bob Bendetson, Homer Simpson, Dan Castellaneta, imdb.com

Larry: Next time you use the bathroom, make sure to keep the seat down. Nat: What are you pussy-whipped? Larry: It's not really about her, It's about me, I pee sitting down.

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

Monica Waters: You're not eating. Adrian Monk: I ate in the bathroom. I had some mints.

— David M. Stern, Adrian Monk, Tony Shalhoub, imdb.com

You're not a child any more. Now come with me: I'm taking you to the bathroom!

— Steven Levitan, Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com

I totally hear you, but, erm, I also don’t like what you’re saying. So if you say no, I will start a fire in the bathroom.

— Joe Mande, Mona-Lisa, Jenny Slate, imdb.com

[someone is groaning in the restroom stall] Good lord! Are you having a bowel movement or a baby?

— Lawrence Kaplow, Thomas L. Moran, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, imdb.com

A cake gets messed up. A Quiznos bathroom gets messed up. You destroyed a galaxy, mother.

— Parker Deay, Jordan Blum, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Stan: That bathroom is amazing. A gold toilet? And I can't believe you have a servant just to wipe your butt. Rusty: Um, I don't... Stan: Oh, explains the attitude and why he did such a a slapdash job.

— Murray Miller, Judah Miller, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Neal's bathroom reminds me a lot of a skin tag. It's not hurting anything, but it doesn't look great.

— Jonathan Van Ness, imdb.com

What does the president of the United States think about when he goes to the bathroom?

— Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

I Care, by Al Bundy. When hooters jiggle around and I find nickels on the ground, I care. When a Mustang engine purrs and the bathroom is not hers, I care. When the pitcher's on the mound and the wife is underground, I care. But when I've been playing this for days, I will kill anyone who stays. I s…

— Kevin Curran, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

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