Episode

The Contest

by Larry David, Estelle Costanza, Estelle Harris, Tom Cherones, Ilana Levine and 8 others

George's mother throws her back out when she falls down after catching him doing "you know." When George says he'll never do it again, Jerry challenges him to a contest of self-denial, when he accepts, Elaine and Kramer want in on the action, or rather th

(4 total)

Characters

Larry David (4)Jerry Seinfeld (2)Michael Richards (2)Cosmo Kramer (2)Estelle Costanza (1)Estelle Harris (1)

“No, no, no, no. You can't! You can't! This is something that comes about once in a lifetime! When we were boys, looking through our bedroom windows, we would think: ‘Why can't there be a woman out there, taking her clothes off?’ And now that wish has come true, and you want to throw it away?”

— Larry David, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: voyeurism, masturbation, Adolescence, Nudity

“I can't take it anymore! She's driving me crazy! I can't sleep, I can't leave the house, and I’m here, I'm climbin’ the walls. Meanwhile, I'm dating a virgin, I'm in this contest—something's gotta give.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: masturbation, sexual tension, Virginity

“We have to do it. It's part of our lifestyle. It's like, uh…shaving.”

— Larry David, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

Tagged: masturbation, Men

“I don't understand you. I really don't. You have nothing better to do at three o’clock in the afternoon? I go out for a quart of milk, I come home, and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!”

— Larry David, Estelle Costanza, Estelle Harris, imdb.com

Tagged: masturbation, Shock