Step Brothers

“I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com

“Brennan, Denise called and she said she can't spend New Year's Eve with you because she's not your girlfriend, she's your therapist.”

— Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Nancy, Mary Steenburgen, amazon.com

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com

“When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur. I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short and I roamed the backyard, I chased the neighborhood cats, I growled and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me. And one day…”

— Adam McKay, Dr. Robert Doback, Richard Jenkins, amazon.com

“Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "Lets get it on.”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com

“Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com

“I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I'm smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and... I just figure it out.”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com

“I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com

“Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious V of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes, " Oh, my God, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf," and she grabs me by the weiner…”

— Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Dale, John C. Reilly, amazon.com

“I'm not gonna call him Dad...Even if there's a fire!”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com

“This house is a fucking prison!”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com

“Did we just become best friends?”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com

“I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my penis!”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com

“This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”

— Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Dale, John C. Reilly, amazon.com

“Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. Brennan I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”

— Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Dale, John C. Reilly, amazon.com

“I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina. You could just live there, it's warm and it's cozy... Oh I'd just walk around with you in there and just knowing, whenever I feel a little tickle or scratch it's your hair on my vagina!”

— Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Alice, Kathryn Hahn, amazon.com

“Dad, what are you doing? It’s ‘Shark Week’!”

— Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Dale, John C. Reilly, amazon.com

“You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.”

— Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Dale, John C. Reilly, amazon.com

“Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!”

— Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Dale, John C. Reilly, amazon.com

“I still hate you, but you have a pretty good collection of nudie magazines.”

— Adam McKay, Brennan, Will Ferrell, amazon.com