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Tamborine

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Hey, I love pussy, but I like peace more. Peace is better than pussy. Peace makes my dick hard. I need motherfucking peace, motherfucker. You wanna be my girl? Be peaceful. Just some peace, motherfucker.

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Pussy dick Peace

When guys cheat…it’s like, we want something new. We want something new, right? But, then, you know what happens? Your woman finds out. And now she’s new. She’s never the same again. So, now you got new, but you got a bad new. You know? You got bad fucking new, man.

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Cheating Fucking

Yeah, you wanna stay together. How do you stay together? You gotta fuck. It’s that simple. You gots to fuck. People are like, 'When we got together, it was so much fun, but then problems arose.' No they didn’t. Nothing arose.

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Relationships Fucking

God doesn’t make mistakes. Hush your mouth. God make plenty of mistakes. You ever see a porcupine? Can’t eat it. Can’t hug it. It’s ugly, sticky, shitting all over the place. Mistake. What about quicksand? Sand you can drown in. You can drown dry. You think God meant to make quicksand? Mistake. You…

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

God Mississippi Mistakes Are Portals of Discovery

Yo, shit has changed. These girls fuck fast now. They fuck fast and they leave. They just get the fuck out yo house.

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Fucking Young Women

The world's cold as a motherfucker, IJ? When you get older, one thing I learned… only women, children and dogs…are loved unconditionally. Women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved…under the condition that he provides something.

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Love Unconditional Love Disposable Men

Religious extremists extremely believe in God. And occasionally blow shit up. Which is really odd when you think about it. ‘Cause if you truly believe in God, you believe that God created the Earth, the moon, the stars, the sun. You believe that God is the most powerful being in the universe. So, if…

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Religion Extremism

You learn nothing more gangster, nothing smarter, nothing more powerful than a housewife. Housewives are the smartest motherfuckers on Earth. People think it’s the working woman. No. Suckers work. That’s right. Smart people find other people to work for them.

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Working feminism

I was addicted to porn. I know, billion-dollar industry. Just me. Right? I was addicted to porn. You know. And, you know. You know. I was 15 minutes late, everywhere. I got some witnesses. When you watch too much porn, you know what happens? Here’s what happens to you. You become, like, sexually aut…

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Porn Sex Addiction

You think kids were nice to Bill Gates in high school? Hey, Gates, you Charlie Brown-looking motherfucker. Fuck you, Gates. You four-eyed bitch. Fuck you and your windows, you gape-tooth motherfucker. I’m gonna smack the shit out of you, fucking Gate. Gate motherfucker. You can’t get in the gate, Ga…

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Bill Gates Mark Zuckerberg bullying Facebook and Profit

We need bullies. How the fuck you gonna have a school with no bullies? Bullies do half the work. That’s right. Teachers do one half. Bullies do the whole other half.

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

bullies bullying

Religious extremists extremely believe in God. And occasionally blow shit up. Which is really odd when you think about it. ‘Cause if you truly believe in God, you believe that God created the Earth, the moon, the stars, the sun. You believe that God is the most powerful being in the universe. So, if…

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Religion God Codependency

We got a justice system for rich, for poor, for black, for white. We live in a country where two people can do the exact same crime in the exact same place at the exact same time and get a different sentence.

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Justice Disparate Sentencing

Religious extremists extremely believe in God. And occasionally blow shit up. Which is really odd when you think about it. ‘Cause if you truly believe in God, you believe that God created the Earth, the moon, the stars, the sun. You believe that God is the most powerful being in the universe. So, if…

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Religion Religious Extremism God

Ain’t nothing gonna happen to Trump, man. Nothing’s gonna happen to Trump. Here’s the crazy thing. It might just work out. Trump might work out. Yeah, I said it—[laughing] Trump might work out.

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Donald Trump

You would think….You would think the cops would occasionally shoot a white kid…just to make it look good. You would think that every couple of months they’d look at their dead nigga calendar and go…

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Police Shootings Race

And I’m sitting there and this lady comes up and goes, I want you children to know you can be anything you wanna be. You can be absolutely anything you wanna be. I’m like, 'Lady, why are you lying to these children?' Maybe four of them could be anything they wanna be. But the other 2,000 better lear…

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Uber Potential lying

We got the gun problems. This gun shit ain’t going nowhere, ok? It’s like, 'Gun control.' There ain’t never gonna be no gun control, OK? You talk about it too long and you will get shot. They will shoot yo ass, ok? That’s right. They never, ever changing the gun laws. Because Americans need the righ…

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Gun Control Hunting

Whenever the cops gun down an innocent black man…they always say the same things, man. They always say the same thing. It’s like, 'Well, it’s not most cops. It’s just a few bad apples.' It’s just a few bad apples. Bad apple? That’s a lovely name for murderer. It’s like, how’d they get that one? 'Bad…

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Police Shootings Police Brutality Bad Apples

I mean, honestly, I wanna live in a world…with real equality. I wanna live in a world…where an equal amount of white kids are shot every month. An equal world.

— Chris Rock, scrapsfromtheloft.com

Police Shootings Equality

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