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What I've Learned

: Don Ricklesby Don Rickles(25 total)

Hollywood has changed. It's not glamorous like the old days. Last time my wife and I went down there to go to the movies, we got car-jacked by a guy with a .357 Magnum.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Hollywood Glamour

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Political Correctness

I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

accountant Mafia

Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Room Service Overpriced

I can sit all day in a comfortable chair and watch ball games, but I don't need a blanket.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Aging

I've never walked off stage and said, I shouldn't have done that. Because when you do what I do, you're like a fighter. You throw the right hand and say, That's what got me to this dance. You can't have doubt. If you have doubt, there's no show.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Doubt Performing Confidence

It's tough having the last name Rickles. Luckily, my kids handled it great.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

unfortunate surnames

Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Asians stereotypes

Showbiz is great if you're successful.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

showbiz Success

I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Real Person stage persona

I don't feel an obligation to give everyone a hard time, but when they're important people, it's fun. I've met every president since Gerald Ford. When you go in the reception line and they announce your name, they all look at me the same way. They all go, Oh, nooooooo! You can see it in their eyes.…

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Gerald Ford Presidents Fame

I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, Gee, if only I'd done The Man Who Came to Dinner on Broadway, I would have been happier.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Regrets The Man Who Came To dinner broadway

Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, How many more years do I have on this earth? But I can't really conceive of dying. Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is…

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Aging Mortality

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Golf

People think being in your seventies means sitting around in a chair with a blanket over your legs, drooling.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Seventies Aging Dementia

The thing I love about Vegas is that it's a melting pot. It's like working Ellis Island.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Las Vegas Melting Pot Ellis Island

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

comedy Attitude

Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Struggling Difficulty

One time I did Carson and I made a joke about a black guy in the audience, and Carson stopped me and said, Show me a black guy. The camera panned the audience, and there was no black guy. And I said to Johnny, Did they laugh? The answer was yes. And that's all that matters.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

Johnny Carson comedy

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

— Don Rickles, esquire.com

insults Lesson comedy

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