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Quotes tagged ‘Alcohol’

(224 total)

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Someone told her drinks were on the house.

Dear alcohol: We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer...I saw the video...we need to talk.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

Drinking is a fucking con.

— John Mayer, rollingstone.com

What is prison, really, except a good bar without the liquor?

— John Waters, amazon.com

I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler. I don't like beer.

— George Bernard Shaw, amazon.com

We comfort our physical bodies in hopes our souls will follow.

— Dan Brown, amazon.com

So we started drinking, and I'll tell you I don't know if it was the alcohol or the ammonia, but the next think I knew she was mopping the floor with me.

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

None. I don’t drink and fly.

— Chuck Yeager, todayinsci.com

We should legalize drugs the same way we legalize alcohol and smoking, and then let those people have to deal with the consequences of their actions. But you can't prohibit it—it doesn't work, it didn't work in the twenties, it doesn't work today.

— Al Goldstein, jimgoad.net

Drinking non alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister Sure it may taste the same but it's just not right.

— Medz86, reddit.com

Suggested remedy for the common cold: A good gulp of whiskey at bedtime-it's not very scientific, but it helps.

— Alexander Fleming, amazon.com

You don't have to not drink for twenty years today. You don't have to give up white bread for all eternity, right now. This "one day at a time" cliche when taken plainly is no less profound than any "be in the moment" Eastern wisdom I've since encountered.

— Russell Brand, amazon.com

I like my Johnny Walker Red and my women blonde.

— Joe Namath, books.google.com

A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.

— Jackie Gleason, books.google.com

I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.

— Jackie Gleason, books.google.com

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

— Jackie Gleason, books.google.com

Alcohol is a perfect solvent It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

— guyi567, reddit.com

College is the best thing that can ever happen to you," my father used to say, and he was right, for it was there that I discovered drugs, drinking, and smoking..

— David Sedaris, amazon.com

Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downswing that is sure to follow. The guests will repeat themselves one too many times, or you'll run out of dope or liquor and realize that it was all you ever had in common.

— David Sedaris, amazon.com

Maybe it was the pot and the alcohol, but drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading.

— Holly Madison, amazon.com

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