Quote
Catalog

Quotes tagged ‘blonde’

(65 total)

What do you call a blonde with a brunette wig on? Artificial Intelligence.

— Reddit, reddit.com

How do you entertain a blonde for the day? Give her a piece of paper that says "turn over" on both sides.

— Reddit, reddit.com

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

— Reddit, reddit.com

Why was the blonde's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blonde too.

— Reddit, reddit.com

Why does the blonde girl put an empty bottle in the fridge? For the visitors who don't drink.

— Reddit, reddit.com

What's the first thing a blonde asks when she learns she is pregnant? Is it mine?

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde was pulled over for speeding by a blonde cop and was asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, 'What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, 'You dummy, it's got y…

— Reddit, reddit.com

What do you call a blonde doctor? An imposter!

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde was trying to install something on her computer. When it was all done, the computer said 'press any key to continue'. She then had to call someone because she couldn't find the 'any' key.

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde woman gets onto an elevator and she says to the man on the elevator 'T.G.I.F' The man replies 'S.H.I.T.' She furrows her brow and repeats 'T.G.I.F.' The man replies once again 'S.H.I.T.' The blonde says 'T.G.I.F.--Thank God it's Friday!' The man says 'S.H.I.T.--Sorry Honey, it's Thursday!'

— Reddit, reddit.com

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde guy calls 911. Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency? Blonde guy: My wife is in labor and the contractions are two minutes apart!! Dispatcher: Ok, I can help you. Is this her first child? Blonde guy: No, you idiot, this is her husband!

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde asked me 'What letter comes after X?' So I responded 'Y', and she got mad and said 'Stop being a jerk, I really want to know!'

— Reddit, reddit.com

A man and a blonde are driving in a car next to a field. They come across a blonde male in a row boat rowing. 'See! This is exactly why blondes get such a bad rap.' Says the blonde. 'If I knew how to swim I'd go over there and teach him a lesson.'

— Reddit, reddit.com

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking after I slap it.

— Reddit, reddit.com

What does the blonde play on her iPod all the time? Breathe in...Breathe out...Breathe in...Breathe out.

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde is standing on one side of a canal. Another blonde walking on the other side yells across 'How do you get to the other side?' The other blonde yells back 'Duh, you're on the other side.'

— Reddit, reddit.com

A brunette comes home one day and saw her blonde roommate hanging from the ceiling by her waist. The brunette said 'What are you doing?' The blonde replies 'Hanging myself, I'm done with life, and want to die.' The brunette says back 'Wouldn't you put the rope around your neck?' The blonde replies '…

— Reddit, reddit.com

Two blondes walk into a building. You'd have thought one of them would've seen it.

— Reddit, reddit.com

How do you make a blonde run laps? Put her in a round room and tell her she has to pee in the corner.

— Reddit, reddit.com

M M WK &KK K& & WM MMWW& K & MWWW &WMWWKWW K & M MMWWWWW KWWMWWWWWWK &K KK&KKKK&M K WWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWW&KK KMMMM&K KM& KWWWWWWWWWWWW&&& KWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWW&KMMMM&K K&K K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWMMMMWMMW&&&&&K &&K & WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&MMMM&&&K&&KK&K K&M&&WWWWWW&KMMWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&&K&&K&&KKKKKKKK&& K&&KMMMMWM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&K&&K&KKK KKK&K K&KMMMW&WWWWWWW&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&&M&&KK KKK KK &&&&MMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&MKK &&&KK KKK K&M&MMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& KK KM& KK&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWMK KK&KK&MM&M&K KMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K KMMMWWM&KK &KKMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&&M& KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWMKK KM &&&&M&MM&&MMMWMWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMK&MKKKKKK &&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&K K KKKK K K KMWMMWWWWWWWWWW&KK&K&& K&MWWWWM& K K&KMM&MWWWWWWWWWM&&K K&&KK &K&MMMWWWWMK KWWWWWWWM& MW KKKK K&WWW& &MMWWMM&K & WWW KWM K&& KKKKK K WWK K&&&M&K KK KK KWW K K K KMWMKKKKKK K KW WWWWK KKK&KKK &&K &KMMKK&K &KMMWW&K&M&KKK &M M& K&KKK&K K&KKKK&&MWWWWWWMM& K& KKK&WMWWWM&&&&K K K &KKK&MMMWM&K&&K K&KK&&&K K KKKK&&&M&&&&MM&KK&&M&MMWWWM&&&&K &KK KWWWWWWWWW&K KKK& K&K K&&&WMMMWWWWWWWWMMMMMM&MWMWMM&&&&K KMM&K&KK KK&&&&&&KK KK&K&&K K&KK&&MMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWMWWMM&&KK K K&MMMM&&K&&MMMMMMMMM&&KKK KKKKKKK K&MMMMWMWWMWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&&& K K&MMM&&MMMMMWWWWWWWWMM&&KK KK&&KKK KMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&M&KK K MWMW& KKMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&& K&&&KKKK &WMMWWWWWWMWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&&K WWWWW K&MMMWWMWWMWMWWWWWWWWWM&MK KK&&MM&KK &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K && WWWWWWWMWW K&MMWWMMMMWWWWWWWWMWWWMMMK K&&MMWMMM&K &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&K MW MWWWWWWWMWW &&MWWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMK K&WWWWWWWM&&K KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWM&&K WW&K WWWWWWWMMWW &&WWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW&K &MWWWWWWWWWWMK MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWM&&K MW WWWWWWWWWW&W& KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWMM &WWWWWWWWWM&KKK MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMM&KK W&MWWWWWWWWWWWW

,.. . , : ,..: ,,, . . ::,. ,: , , :: , ,, , ., .. ., .,, .. . . , . . . , ., , . : : , : : :, ... . , :. . . , . .,.,: :, , . .. , : , . , .. :.. , . .:. : : :, , , . ..,:, : .: . : . : . . :: ,.. ,.. . : , ,, . , , ., ,,,:: ,, ,,. .. ,: . : , :,.. , . ,:: ,.., : ., :. : :. :...,,::., , ,: . .: :: , .... . . ..:. .:: . :, : . .,:. , , . ,: : . , ..: , .. ,:, , ,.,., :: :, .., : .. ::.: ,: : ,: :. , : ... .. , ,..,.. ..:, ,::: ,:: .. ,,. , :, . .::.:,,.,, .. .... ,:::: .,:: : .,, . :. , :. ,. , ,, . ,. ,::::: ..,: : ,, ,: :, , .:. . :, ::.:.. . , ,::::::: .,,: ,,: . : , : : .: .,,, ., . . ,::::::: .,:: :. . , . .,. , , ,. : . .,::::: ..,: . . : . ,,: :,, ., .. ,, . : :: .,,: ,. : . : :: .,,, ,:: ..,: . , . : . ,. ., , . : ..,:: : ..., :. , :. . , :.. .. , : .,:: ,,. . .. :: .., :. ,. :: ..,: : :. : . , :, . ,. . .,,.: ..,: .:, .: .. :,. . . ., : .,:: . : :,,, . . . : ., .,:: , ,: ,. , .., ., ::: .,:: . . .:: ..,: , ,. . ,, .,: ..,,: , ...: . ,. ., , ,: .,,: . , , ,: . ,:: . .,,: , . ,:,: .. ..,,: . , . ,.. .,.,,:: . ..,,: : .,..,:: . . . ...,,,: :,, . ...,,: . ........,,::: : . ... ...,,::

********}}}}}}}}}}}}}} < ~ } <<* } *} * } }}< * ~~ }<}*~< * << <<**}} ********}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}< < }}} * } < ~~* *~ * << ~ } ~<~ <<***}} <******}}}}}}}}}} }} ~ ~** }} < }<< * * } * *} ~<* * } ~~ ~< < ~<<***}} <******}}}}}}}}} }}}} < ~ } * ~ < * }* *<~ } } }* <<<***}} <*****}*}}}}}}} } * }~ } } *} ~* }* ~ < ~<<<***}} <<***}}}}}}}} ~ }} }* } } * < ~ ~~~<~<<*}} <<<***}}}}}}} } * < *~ ~* ~ ~~~<<<**}} ~<<***}}}}}}} * ~ } ** < } ~~~~<<<**} ~<<***}}}}}} * <} ~~ } } ~~~~<<**}} ~~<<**}}}}} }~ ~<< } ~ < ~~~~<<<**}} ~<<**}}}} } ~ ~~ } * ~ ~* ~~~~~~~<***} ~<<**}}} < **< ~ ~~~~<<***}} ~~<<**}} ~ * ~} ~~~~<<**}} ~~<**}} * ** ~ ~~~~<<**} ~<<**} } * ~ ~ ~ * ~~~<<**}} ~~<<*}} } * < } }}* ~ < ~~<<**}} ~<<**}} < < ** ~ }}}} ~ <}~~ ~~<<**}} ~<<**} * *} * ~~ ~~<<**}} ~~<**}} } * } **<<<}<}} < < ~ ~~<<**}} ~<<**}} ** ~} } }} <*}}}}} } }**} < } }~ }* ~~<<**} ~<***}} }< < <<} }<***}} } <} ~< ~ *} }~ ~} ~ ~~~<<**}} ~<**}} * <* *}*<~*} *~ }~*}} }<* < * ~ ~<<<**} ~<**}}} } } ~ < }< <}~* }} } * <} < *~ ~~<**}} ~<<**}} < <* ~ < } } ~ <}~ ~~<<**}} ~<<**}} } } } ~*} } *~ < ~~<<**}} ~<<**}}}} < } } <<~ ~* ~~~<<***} ~<***}**}} * } }}<* ~~<<**} ~<**}}}**~ } } }*<< ~~<<**} ~~<****}}*~ < }} << < ~~<<*}} ~~<***}}**} } * < ~~<<**}} ~~<<**}**< } } ~~*<~*} ~~<<**}} ~~<***** } }} ** * ~~<<**}} ~~~<*** } } * } ~~<<**}} ~~~<<< ~ * }*} } ~<<***} ~~~<< ~~ } }}} } ~~<<**}} ~<< ~ * } } * ~<<**}

j Uo V oU jjjjjoooojjjjjjjjj j ojjo VV oo U o jVjjooj j U jjjjjoojojjjjjjjj jjj j o j oo VUUoj jj oU jjjjjjoojjjjjjjj j j j V V j j o j j jjjj oVooj V UUo jjjjooojjjjjjjj jjj jo o U Vj j oU oUo V jjjjjojjjjjjjj jjjjjjo V U V V U j Vojoo U U jjjjooooojjjjj jjjj j oo ojojV o U Vj jjjjooooojjjj jjjjjj j j o U o jjjjooooojjjj jjjjjjj ooU UVoVVo UoVU o jjjjjjoojjjj jjjjjjjj joVoU V jjjjjoojjjj j jjjjjjjj o VoV VUUU V jjjjooojjjj jjjjjjjjjj oUooU U UUUVU UVUo jjoooojjj jjjjjjjjjjj VVVU UV U UUUVVUUVUVj jjjjjoojjo jjjjjjjjjj jVVVV VV UUo UUUUUVVVUooVVVoVo jjjjjoojjj jjjjjjjjjj o jVVVVU UUVVUVUU UUUUooooojVVooVo o jjjjoojjj jjjjjjjjjj VVVoVU Vjj jj jVU UooUUVjoVooVooooV jjjjjojjj jjjjjjojjj ooooVU Ujj o VjoooooooVVVoVo jjjjjojjj jjjjjjjojo jojo U UUU UUVjjoVVoUVoVUo jj jjjjjjjjj jjjjjjojo ojVU V UV U UUojooVUUU UVoj ooU UUU UVVVVVVVoVUUUo j jjjjjoojj jjjjoojj o o ooUUUUoj j jVU Voj oj jo jV UUUUUVVVVUVVUUUUV jjjjjjjojj jjjjooj j oV oj joVUU UUUVojojoVo j Uj jVUUUUUVUVUUU UUUV jjjjjjjjj jjjjojj jj oUV Uj oV jo UVUVoooU jVU oUoVVoU U UUU U jjjjjoojj jjj j VojojoUU Uo jjj jjU UooVVoU U U VU UojVoVVU U UUUj V jjjjooojj jjjjo jooooVUU V o j Uj oU UojooVV VoVVVUUUUU VooVUUoU Vj jjjjojooj jj j ooVVVVVUUo jVoV j UojjUU jo UUVjjoojjV U UUU UVVj V jjjjojooj jj ooV UVVVVoV o U Vj jU UVoooVVojooVU UU UVVo jjjjoojjj VVUU UVVjVjV UVojjj oV U VoVVojVUUVoVUU UUo jjjjojooj VVUU UU UUUoVojj oUU UoooVVoUU U VV jjjoooooj VVU VVo oVU UVoooVVVU U UVVV jjjoooooj VVU Vjj oV UVUoooVVUU UU UVV jjoooooj UVU Vjj jo VojoooVVUV UUVUVVo U jjjjoooj VVV Vjj V UVo VVVUU VoUVUVoUoo o o V jjjjjjoj oU Vo o UVj oVVU UUVVVUUVUoo j UUj jjjjjoo VV Vjj Uo jo VooVUUUVVoj j o jjjjjjj oU U V VVo j UooVUUUUooo j U jjjjjj jV V V UUVoj U VooVUUVVjoo o jjjjjj

W WWW KWWWWK MWWWWM&K&W&&M WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&&&M MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&KK & K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM K &K K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& WWWWMK KK KWWWWWW&& MW& K MM KWWM W KKKK WM &&K K K KMK &WM&K MWWW& K&&K K&MWWWW&MMWM&K KMM&&MMMM& &&K &MWWWWWWWWWWWMK &MWWWWWWM& KM&K KWWWWWWWWWWWW&K KWW KMWWWWWWWWM KWWWMK KWWWWWWWWWWWW& &&MWWWW WWWWWWWWWW KWWWMKK WWWWWWWWWWWMK WWWWW KWWWWWWWWM MWWWWWWWWWW& MWWMWW W MWWWWWWWMK K KMK MMWWWWWWWWWMK WWWWW WW KMWWWWWW&M &WWWWM&K&&WWWWWWWM&& WWWW &W KWWWWWW&&&WWWWWWWWWMWWWWWMWM&M&K WM K&WMWWW&MWMMMMMKK K&MWWWWWMKKMK& & K &&WWM &WWM& K& K M &MWW K&&& K&WWMMM MK K&MM &MMK&&MMMMM&M&K &&K M K && K&&&&&K KKK WW KKK KK&&K WWW K K K KWWWW WWWWMMWMM WWWMM&WMKW MWMM&&M&&KM

. ,::::, . : : ,. ,, . ,. , . : , . ,: .,, , , : . . : :,,., : : .,, , . , : .. , , . ,, , :. . , . ,: , ., : .: : : , .. .,,,. : : , , . .,. .: , : . :, : : , .: , . , . . .: . . ., , . .: . . . .. .,: . : , ......, . ,: . ...,.,: : :. ,. .,: .....,...: :.: .: .....,,,.,,: . ....,,,,,..,. ,,. . .....,,,,,. ,, . , .. ...,,.... : . , ,. ...,.... ,, ,, :. .: :, ...... :: , . . ,: :, .... , .: :. , , : , :, . . , :, ., : :. ,. :: ,. ..: :::

***}}}}} ~ < ~<** < ~ < <*} ***}}}} ~ * ~~ * <*} <*}}}} ~ } < ~<*} <*}}} } ~~<* <*}} * ~ ~~<*} ~*} ~~ ~ ~ ~*} <*} < } * ~ ~<* ~<} } }*}} ~* ~<* ~*} }} < }** ** < ~~ ~<* <*} < }~ } * ~~ ~<* <*} } *~ ~<* <}}< } * < ~<* <*} * } <* ~<*} ~<* ~ } } ~*} < } } <*} ~ <} }}* ** }} ~ <} } ~*} < < } ~*} }<< ~ ~* ~*} }***~<<*}<~ } }* * <* ~ < } ~ } <*} **~ }< < ~<*}} ***<~ }< } ~ ~<**}} ****<<~ *} **}}*<< *}}} ******<~ <*} *~*<<<} * <<****<<<~ <} }}< ~~<* ~ <<<<<<<*<<~~ <} }< ~<**} ~~~~~<<<<<<<~~ < < <*} }<~ <**}}}

j jjV V o j jjjjjjj jj oV jU j o oVooUU jjjjjj jj V jjjjj jjj jVVoVjjU jjjjj jjo oV VU U jjjj jjjo jV U U UVooUo jjjj jjjj oo o jU VjoooV jjjj jjjo oV VVojV Uj jU UVoVV j jjjj jjo U V j UVoVV j oVV U jjjj jo ooU U o U joU U UU oVV U jjjj j jUUVoo Uo ooVVU V jjoo j Uj U oVU UV jjoo U j jjV VVo o V joo j j VoUo joo V Vj jVVo U j jo VVj Vo VjVo jj V oo oV U V VoVo j V o U UUVj j j o jo U jo j V U Uj o jo V U j U U V U jjo UUV o oU UU UVUUVUo V jj oVoV UU UVVVoVV j j oojVUU UVU VVU UVojojjo o o jjoVUUU UV UVoo oUUUUVj joVUU UUUUU UUVjj oV UVVV j j joVUUUUUUUVo jjVVVVVoo j joVVVVooo jooVVVoo U j jj jjooooo V