Quotes tagged ‘blonde’

“What do you call a blonde with a brunette wig on? Artificial Intelligence.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“How do you entertain a blonde for the day? Give her a piece of paper that says "turn over" on both sides.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“Why was the blonde's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blonde too.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“Why does the blonde girl put an empty bottle in the fridge? For the visitors who don't drink.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“What's the first thing a blonde asks when she learns she is pregnant? Is it mine?”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“A blonde was pulled over for speeding by a blonde cop and was asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, 'What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, 'You dummy, it's got y…”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“What do you call a blonde doctor? An imposter!”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“A blonde was trying to install something on her computer. When it was all done, the computer said 'press any key to continue'. She then had to call someone because she couldn't find the 'any' key.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“A blonde woman gets onto an elevator and she says to the man on the elevator 'T.G.I.F' The man replies 'S.H.I.T.' She furrows her brow and repeats 'T.G.I.F.' The man replies once again 'S.H.I.T.' The blonde says 'T.G.I.F.--Thank God it's Friday!' The man says 'S.H.I.T.--Sorry Honey, it's Thursday!'”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“A blonde guy calls 911. Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency? Blonde guy: My wife is in labor and the contractions are two minutes apart!! Dispatcher: Ok, I can help you. Is this her first child? Blonde guy: No, you idiot, this is her husband!”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“A blonde asked me 'What letter comes after X?' So I responded 'Y', and she got mad and said 'Stop being a jerk, I really want to know!'”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“A man and a blonde are driving in a car next to a field. They come across a blonde male in a row boat rowing. 'See! This is exactly why blondes get such a bad rap.' Says the blonde. 'If I knew how to swim I'd go over there and teach him a lesson.'”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking after I slap it.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“What does the blonde play on her iPod all the time? Breathe in...Breathe out...Breathe in...Breathe out.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“A blonde is standing on one side of a canal. Another blonde walking on the other side yells across 'How do you get to the other side?' The other blonde yells back 'Duh, you're on the other side.'”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“A brunette comes home one day and saw her blonde roommate hanging from the ceiling by her waist. The brunette said 'What are you doing?' The blonde replies 'Hanging myself, I'm done with life, and want to die.' The brunette says back 'Wouldn't you put the rope around your neck?' The blonde replies '…”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“Two blondes walk into a building. You'd have thought one of them would've seen it.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“How do you make a blonde run laps? Put her in a round room and tell her she has to pee in the corner.”

— Reddit, reddit.com