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57 quotesBorn Jun 23, 2005

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All Funny (55)blonde (50)blonde jokes (50)joke (47)Jokes (30)funny joke (17)knock knock jokes (5)knock knock (5)

From “Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit”

A blonde a brunette and a redhead are on an elevator when a good looking man gets on. He gets off at the next floor. Having noticed his dandruff, the redhead says to the brunette, 'He could use some head and shoulders.' Looking confused, the blonde asks, 'How do you give a guy shoulders?'

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Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? They need a place to put their legs.

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What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? They know how many went down on the Titanic.

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What job did the M&M factory give to the blonde? Proofreading. Why did she get fired? Throwing out all the W's.

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Two blondes are stuck in a burning apartment on the 30th floor on the balcony. They're both screaming for help one after another, to no avail... Then one of the blondes says i don't think anyone can hear us.. maybe if we scream together, we'll be louder and we'll get saved! They both start yelling,…

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Blonde: 'What does IDK stand for?' Brunette: 'I don’t know.' Blonde: 'OMG, nobody does!'

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Clause are allegedly seen walking down the street together. They come across a 20 dollar bill on the ground. Which one picks it up? The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist.

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What is the difference between a blonde and a man? A blonde has a higher sperm count.

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Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her…

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How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.

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What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 'I hope it's mine.'

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From “What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit”

A blonde was trying to install something on her computer. When it was all done, the computer said 'press any key to continue'. She then had to call someone because she couldn't find the 'any' key.

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A blonde woman gets onto an elevator and she says to the man on the elevator 'T.G.I.F' The man replies 'S.H.I.T.' She furrows her brow and repeats 'T.G.I.F.' The man replies once again 'S.H.I.T.' The blonde says 'T.G.I.F.--Thank God it's Friday!' The man says 'S.H.I.T.--Sorry Honey, it's Thursday!'

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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A blonde guy calls 911. Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency? Blonde guy: My wife is in labor and the contractions are two minutes apart!! Dispatcher: Ok, I can help you. Is this her first child? Blonde guy: No, you idiot, this is her husband!

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A blonde asked me 'What letter comes after X?' So I responded 'Y', and she got mad and said 'Stop being a jerk, I really want to know!'

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A man and a blonde are driving in a car next to a field. They come across a blonde male in a row boat rowing. 'See! This is exactly why blondes get such a bad rap.' Says the blonde. 'If I knew how to swim I'd go over there and teach him a lesson.'

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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking after I slap it.

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