“What kind of power was it if everybody knew that it would never be used? Better to say that it was not there, that it was no more than the power in the anus of the proud dog who tried to put out a furnace with his puny fart....He turned the yam with a stick.”— Chinua Achebe, amazon.com
“Are you going to tell a man that he can’t fart in his own car?”— Mike Scully, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com
“Remember that time in science class when I tried to sneak out a fart but it came out a poop? And then I had to flush my undies down the toilet? Do you think I wanted to tell you guys that?”— Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Patty Lin, Bill Haverchuck, Martin Starr, imdb.com
“Classic church joke.. An old couple was sitting in church when the wife says, "I just let out a silent fart. What should I do?" Her husband responded, "Change the batteries in your hearing aids."”— critcal_kurt, reddit.com
“I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.”— Karl Pilkington, amazon.com