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Ron Swanson

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Ronald Ulysses "Ron" Swanson is a fictional character portrayed by Nick Offerman from the situation comedy television series Parks and Recreation on NBC, created by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur. In the series, Ron is the director of the Parks and Recreation department of fictional Pawnee, Indiana, and the immediate superior of series protagonist Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) until Knope's election to the Pawnee City Council at the end of Season 4. In demeanor, political philosophy and work ethic, Knope and Swanson are very nearly polar opposites: where Knope is sunny and outgoing, decidedly liberal and constantly working, Swanson is distant, and as a staunch libertarian, is a strong advocate for small government—stating his belief that government should be privatized—and therefore believes that the parks department should not even exist. Ron, who has an extremely deadpan and masculine personality, actively works to make city hall less effective and despises interacting with the public. He loves meat, woodworking, hunting, whisky, and breakfast foods. He hates and fears his two ex-wives, both named Tammy, one of whom is played by Offerman's real-life wife, Megan Mullally. Ron claims not to be interested in the personal lives of those around him but actually cares a great deal about his colleagues, and has a particularly strong respect for Leslie. Conceived by series creators Michael Schur and Greg Daniels, Ron has been a central character since the pilot episode of Parks and Recreation. Offerman had some input into the character's creation, and some aspects of Ron's personality were inspired by the actor, like his affinity for woodworking and 16-year-old Lagavulin Single Malt Scotch. The traits of the character were also partially inspired by a real-life Libertarian elected official in Burbank, Californi

All humor (13)Funny (7)Fishing (6)Government (5)Breakfast Food (5)ex-wife (3)History (3)yoga (3)don't care (3)food (3)Wrong Name (2)Enthusiasm (2)Pain (2)cats (2)Taxes (2)

From “Parks and Recreation”

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

humor Funny Hungry food Eggs And Bacon

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

humor Funny Fishing yoga

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.

humor Funny Fishing Feed A Man A Fish

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

humor Funny Dogs cats

There is only one bad word: taxes.

humor Funny Government Taxes

History began on July 4, 1776. Everything that happened before that was a mistake.

humor Funny History Government

OK, everyone: shut up! And look at me! Welcome to ‘Visions of Nature.’ This room has several paintings in it. Some are big, some are small. People did them and they’re here now. I believe that after this is over, they’ll be hung in government buildings. Why the government is involved in an art show…

humor Funny Art Government Ron Swanson

From “Emergency Response”

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat, and cats are useless.

Dogs cats Small Dogs

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

dog fifty pounds Cat useless

From “Sweet Sixteen”

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

Half-Assed Whole-Assed

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

humor

From “Partridge”

I regret nothing. The end.

Regret Nothing The End

There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.

Skim Milk lying Water Personification Examples

From “Flu Season”

The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

Solipsism Best friend don't care

You had me at ‘Meat Tornado.’

Meat Tornado

I'm not interested in caring about people.

Love socialization Human Interaciton

Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.

idiots give 100%impossible more than 100%

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

worked never learned name Best friend

From “Anniversaries”

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.

Frozen Yogurt Celery zero stars

From “Farmers Market”

[Holds up iPod] TOM PUT ALL MY RECORDS INTO THIS RECTANGLE. THE SONGS JUST PLAY ONE AFTER THE OTHER. THIS IS AN EXCELLENT RECTANGLE.

iPod Records Songs rectange Happy

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