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Bill Haverchuck

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All Peanuts (2)Allergies (2)Drunk (2)Hot (1)Sharting (1)Cross Dressing (1)Prank Calls (1)Funny (1)Fredericks of Hollywood (1)Butts (1)PBS (1)Jokes (1)Fart (1)Designated Driver (1)monkeys (1)

From “Beers and Weirs”

Wow. That designated driver's pretty hot. I'd like to get her drunk.

Designated Driver Drunk Hot

Sam Weir: What am I gonna say to Cindy? Bill Haverchuck: Don't say anything. Be dominant. It's all, all about dominance. I saw this monkey show on PBS, if you talk to her first, it's a sign of weakness and she will not pick you to be her mate. Sam Weir: Are you drunk? Bill Haverchuck: I think so,…

dominant Drunk monkeys PBS Weakness

From “Tricks and Treats”

Ma'am, I hope there aren't any peanuts in these peanuts.

Allergies Peanuts

Bill Haverchuck: I just hope I get candy I can eat. I'm allergic to peanuts, licorice, and nougat. Neal Schweiber: How can you possibly be allergic to nougat? [Sam laughs] Bill Haverchuck: I don't know. My doctor says I'm allergic to more things than anyone he's ever seen.

Allergies Nougat Peanuts Licorice

Alan White: Shut up, you little girl. Bill Haverchuck: I'm not a little girl, I'm a bionic woman.

Little Girl Bionic Woman Cross Dressing Halloween Costumes

From “Tests and Breasts”

I don't really like jokes. I don't think they're funny.

Jokes Funny Irony

From “The Diary”

[prank calling] Fredericks? You're a turd. A stinky f-fat turd. Go sniff a jock strap, you poop head. You love patting boys' butts. You love patting boys' butts. Butt...you butt-patter! You're a perv and a loser... and a stinky...t-turd! [hangs up]

Fredericks of Hollywood Prank Calls Jock Strap Butts Loser

From “The Garage Door”

Bill Haverchuck: You remember when we said we'd tell each other everything? Neal Schweiber: Yeah. Bill Haverchuck: Did you mean it? Neal Schweiber: Of course. Bill Haverchuck: Even if it's something really, really horrible? I mean, it might not be horrible, 'cause it might not be true, but if it is…

Secrets

Remember that time in science class when I tried to sneak out a fart but it came out a poop? And then I had to flush my undies down the toilet? Do you think I wanted to tell you guys that?

Science Class Shart Sharting Fart Gross

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